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Helping Youngsters Find Their Gifts with Pediatric Mental Health Expert Robin Maddox 0

Apr 26, 2023

Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.

I wanna give a shout out to Skylight Frame, the official Skylight frame. They are sponsors of this episode of Faster Than Normal. Let me tell you about Skylight! So I have a daughter, you all know, her name is Jessa, she's nine. Jessa, like any nine year old, doesn't really do what I tell her to do until I say it like 4, 5, 6, 18, 54 times. And the problem with that is that when your ADHD, you're kind of forgetful to begin with. So Jessa sits there and I tell her, Jessa, change Waffles' pee pads, my dog right? [@petersdogwaffle on INSTA] Changes defense. Okay, Dad. And she goes right back to Roblox. And then two times later, Jessa change Waffle's pad? Goes, okay, Dad goes right back to robots. And by the fourth time, I've forgotten about it. She's forgotten about it. Waffle doesn't get his pee pad changed. No one's happy. And the house smells. So Skylight Frame eliminates that. It is a essentially a calendar. It's calendar with pictures. It sits on your wall, it connects to wifi, it connects to your Google calendar, and it adds your chores. So I tell Jessa say, Hey, Jessa before you leave for school, before you get in your iPad to play Roblox, before you go to school, are all your chores done? Are they green on the board? She looks. Now I gotta change Waffles pads. Change the pads, comes back. Click. Not you waffle. I, I know you heard your name, but I'm actually not talking about you. I'm doing, doing a podcast. He click, she clicks on the, click it on the, on the chore, it goes away. When all her chores are done, she gets her iPad, everyone wins. It makes life so much easier. It is unbelievable. It's a 10" inch touchscreen display. It's digital, it's gorgeous. You put all your photos in from your photo album, you can send 'em all there. And when it's not in calendar mode, you get a beautiful display of all the pictures. Totally worth it. And as always, thank you Skylight for sponsoring this episode as well as many others of the Faster Than Normal Podcast.

https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to $30 off.

Robin Maddox, LMFT, is a pediatric mental health expert with over a decade of hands-on experience following data-driven, evidenced-based strategies to support and heal children, adolescents and families. As Director of Behavioral Health at Clay, a virtual company within early education centers, she has guided the development of an early identification platform that provides a comprehensive suite of behavioral and developmental tools for school communities that serve children ages 0-5. Prior to Clay, Robin worked as a child and family therapist in her own private practice (Maddox Counseling), and at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. She previously served as Director of Special Education at Notre Dame College Prep, where she created, developed, and implemented a Special Education Program for students with Down Syndrome, Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Trisomy 13, and other developmental disabilities. Robin also has prior experience as a Director and Executive Board Member for Camp Hope, a summer camp for children and young adults with developmental disabilities. Today we learn… Often with neurodiversity, by the time a therapist is seeing a child, they are pulling them out of the river. A good part of Robin and Clay Behavioral Health’s purpose is hiking upstream- to see why so much of our young neurodiverse population is getting thrown into the river in the first place. By intervening and putting good tools in the hands of teachers and parents, we're learning more about our kids, a little earlier in life than before concluded. Today we learn about why and how. Enjoy!

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:52 - Introducing and welcome Robin Maddox

03:30 - What drove you towards special education and towards neurodiversity as a whole?

04:35 - What is Clay?

06:11 - Six short sessions of work with a four-year-old, would take years with the same teenager

06:45 - How a ‘heads-up’ about your child, can be almost as effective to parents as a diagnosis

07:30 - It’s a GIFT! You don’t even have to stand in line for it; just learn how to use it!

07:45 - What if the school says: “We can't test your child until they are six”?

08:36 - You don’t have to wait for a diagnosis. Tools are ready and available.

09:04 - How kids feel about themselves? How do they feel about themselves by age 5, at kindergarten?

10:00 - All of the research right now is on how one-third of teenagers have identified as having anxiety or depression. What the research shows is that those kids are showing those signs even at ages 3, 4, 5.

10:40 - What kind of signs should parents be looking for?

11:10 - How do people find out more about you?

Web: https://carebyclay.com email: robin@carebyclay.com

Socials: @carebyclay on Twitter INSTA Facebook and LinkedIN

11:40 - Thank you so much Robin!!

11:45 - We are thrilled that you are here and listening! ADHD and all forms of Neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

12:00 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits. Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat:

As always, thank you Skylight for sponsoring this episode as well as many others of the Faster Than Normal Podcast. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to $30 off.

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey guys. Peter Shankman, another episode of Faster Than Normal is Coming Your Way at Lightning Speed. Wanna give a big shout out as always. Skylight, skylight calendar and skylight frame. Like I, I, look, I'm not gonna tell you again how much has changed my life. My daughter's getting sick of hearing it. But I will say this, yesterday morning we were about to walk out to school and I looked and I noticed that the, um, dog doggy pee pads were not changed. And I said, Jessa I see if you're forgetting something. And she's like, no, I have, you know, I have my water bottle, I have my backpack. I'm like, really? You have everything? She's like, yeah, everything you need. Like, did you clear off all your chores or, oh my god, I forgot. She runs, she looks at chores. What? Well, I'll take care of your pads right now. And she ran and she changed the pads two seconds and she clicked that, that, that, that touchscreen and got rid of her chores today and everything went green. And she was incredibly happy. And I'm like, I'm like, why'd you forget? She's like, because you were talking to me. So obviously it was dad's fault cuz that's what happens. But check them out. Skylight frame.com. Use code Peter Shankman for up to 30 bucks off your order. I love this thing, one of the best things I have in my kitchen, uh, other than my, uh, ninja Ninja foodie, which is a whole ‘nother discussion. But anyway, welcome to the ever sort of fast than normal. I am thrilled that you're here.

We are talking today to Robin Maddox. She's a pediatric mental health expert with over a decade of hands-on experience following data-driven evidence-based strategies to support and adhere heal children adolescents, and families. She works for a cool company called Clay. And Clay is sort of like this virtual company within early education centers. So think like zero to five when like 90% of the brain develops, right? And they have this comprehensive suite of behavioral and developmental tools for school communities that allow. More insight into what's going on and, and more sort of awareness of any sort of, uh, neurodiversity long before I guess other people would get it. Um, prior to Clay Robin was a child and family therapist in her own private practice and at the Family Institute at Northwestern University. She was the director of Special Education at Notre Dame College Prep. She's much smarter than me, I can tell this. She created, developed and implemented a special education program for students with Down Syndrome Autism, cerebral Palsy, tri ME 13, and other developmental disabilities. Robin also has prior experience as director and executive board member for Camp Hope, a summer camp for children and young adults with developmental disabilities. I have a dog named Waffle. Either way. It is great to have you on the products, Rob, on podcast. Robin, my God. You have, you have a, you have quite the background.

[00:03:04] Robin: Thanks Peter. Thanks for reading that bio.

[00:03:07] Peter: Notre Dame. Are you an Irish fan?

[00:03:09] Robin: No, I'm actually not. Um, it was the, you know, first job I got.

[00:03:14] Peter: So you're one of the few rams I discovered that there are very few people with connections to Notre Dame that do not shout, go Irish at every conceivable opportunity.

[00:03:20] Robin: Yeah, that's not me.

[00:03:21] Peter: That being said, thrilled to have you as always and thrilled to have everyone listening as always. So, Robin, talk to us first about. Sort of what drove you towards special education and towards neurodiversity as a whole? Because, you know, it's, it's a, a lot of people go into it, but you're very specific. You're very specialized here.

[00:03:39] Robin: Yeah. I love that question. Uh, when I was in high school, I did a camp for kids with disabilities, um, pretty profound disabilities. So my Camper, who I was in charge of for the week, uh, was non-verbal in a wheelchair, and I was in charge of feeding her, changing her diaper, and she was older than me. Um, but I feel like she taught me more about life in that five days that I was taking care of her than I had you know, ever experienced. And so that drove me into special ed, um, in, in my undergrad. And then I met one of my students, um, family therapist. They came to observe me at school and I was like, that's exactly what I wanna do. And so for the last 10 years I've been in, um, child and family therapy, working with kids with disabilities and all different neuro divergence.

[00:04:29] Peter: It's not easy.

[00:04:32] Robin: Yeah, it's not easy, but it's really fun and really rewarding and um, I love it.

[00:04:37] Peter: I imagine it would be. Tell us about, so Clay is really interesting. So this is one of those things that get sort of to the heart of what's going on long before other people figure it out.

[00:04:44] Robin: Yes, yes. I joined Clay because, you know, I felt as a therapist, I was so burnt out. I was, you know, helping one family at a time, pulling them out of the river and never going upstream to see why are you getting thrown in the river. Um, and I think so often, you know, parents are bringing their kid to the pediatrician and saying, you know, we're having these different behavior issues. Um, or they're having behavioral issues at school or home, and the pediatrician has 10 minutes, you know, for all the vital health assessments and vaccines, and they're not equipped to always handle behavioral health issues. And then the teacher's pretty burnt out and not always equipped, and the parents burnt out and not equipped. And the end result is, you know, from zero to five when it's the most. Like you said, the most crucial time, 90% of the brain's growing these negative neural pathways get set. These negative coping and self-soothing skills get set. Negative family dynamics, negative association with school and negative self-esteem. And then the research says kids don't land in my office until 11 years later. I. So, you know, that was kind of my goal at Clay was, and what Clay is doing, we're solving this, um, we're intervening and putting the tools in teachers and parents' hands earlier. So what I can do in six sessions with a four-year-old would take years and years with a teenager. And we're really seeing the mental health crisis start in preschool. Even though they're talking about teenagers,

[00:06:07] Peter: You're preventing having to undo things essentially.

[00:06:09] Robin: Yes, exactly. Exactly.

[00:06:11] Peter: Huh. That is interesting. I mean, it's, it's interesting the statistics you rattle off there. I, I always talk about how, you know, it's difficult to undo years of being told you're broken, but I didn't realize it started that early.

[00:06:22] Robin: Yes, I know often. That's fascinating. Yeah. Often we undermine how important, uh, Zero to five is, and it's really the most crucial. And it's when parents are the most burnt out and, um, you know, many preschool teachers are underpaid and overworked and have these massive classrooms of behavior issues and they're not equipped to handle it.

[00:06:41] Peter: I'm still blown away by, by five years old. So, so you're saying is if you get the kids in. Before that sort of settles.

[00:06:47] Robin: Yeah. When we, you know, it's much, much easier. We've found our research so far of the kids that we've screened, a third of them have been flagged for, you know, a certain behavior concern. Um, 40% of those kids were flagged for anxiety and 19% were flagged with A D H D symptoms. And so we're not diagnosing them, but we're flagging the teachers and the parents with this is what's going on. So they're not just a behavior issue, they're not a lazy kid who's not trying or purposely being defiant. They actually have something else going on. And if we can give them really effective coping skills and ways to talk to the kids. And, um, you know, to really see the gifts. I love that about what you do on your podcast is always talking about the gifts of A D H D and there are so many gifts of anxiety and gifts of A D H D and we really have to help kids get those coping skills and see that as their superpower and, um, figure out how to make school and family life work for them.

[00:07:45] Peter: Talk to me about the parents. So I was just talking to a parent who said that, yeah, pretty sure my kid has is, is neurodiverse, but. We can't test him until he's six, according to the school. Mm-hmm. Right. And so I'm curious, when you go in and talk to parents who are at a much younger age

[00:08:00] Robin: Yep. Right.

[00:08:00] Peter: What's the, what's the reaction, what's the response?

[00:08:02] Robin: Yeah, I mean, it's a common response of like, they're too young to have ADHD. They're, um, you know, it's kind of crazy to put my four year old in therapy. And I hear that and I get it, and we can't diagnose ADHD pre four, but we see the symptoms and we definitely see, um, the family genetics of that. So, if a parent has ADHD or anxiety, we typically, you know, there's a higher rate of a kid having that. And so there's never any harm in getting coping skills and language around ADHD or anxiety or autism sooner. You don't have to wait for a diagnosis. If you're seeing some of the symptoms and you're seeing the behaviors, we can jump in there and, and get coping skills. I'm not, I'm not encouraging, you know, an increase in diagnosis. I'm just encouraging an increase in screening and getting those tools.

[00:08:51] Peter: Right, right. And it's interesting because I don't know, I, this is the first I've ever heard I like, like think I know what I'm, you know, I've heard a lot about this. The first thing I've ever heard about. Young age, um, about really sort of young age intervention.

[00:09:04] Robin: Yeah, it's crucial. It's really crucial in terms of how kids feel about themselves. You know, often you'll see a five year old going to kindergarten and already feel like they're stupid. They don't wanna go to school, they're a bad boy or bad girl. They're bad at listening. Um, they get all of these messages about themselves before school's even started. Right. And that's what, and, and you know, the family dynamics have been set up. So, um, you know, parents get in a loop of how they've been parenting a, a kid, and it really affects how they cope, how they self-soothe. And then I see them 11 years later and they're addicted to their screens or they're using food to cope, or they're depressed or anxious. And so what I try to tell parents is if we intervene at four, you won't be doing this at 15. You know, you won't have a depressed, anxious kid who's who's using negative coping skills. That's our hope.

[00:09:58] Peter: And the research backs it up, Robin.

[00:10:00] Robin: Yes, yes. You know, the, the mental health crisis, all of the research right now is on teenagers being anxious and depressed. One third of of teenagers are, um, identified as having anxiety or depression. And, and what we're seeing is those kids are, they're showing those signs at 3, 4, 5, um, and we can intervene way sooner.

[00:10:24] Peter: Wow. Three, four, and five. They're showing sign of depression. That is, that is sad.

[00:10:30] Robin: Yeah. Of what will end up, you know, I think we might not see a kid who's depressed, but we could see a kid who's, um, you know, got some pretty [hectic?] Behavior and, and then they start to feel depressed about

[00:10:41] Peter: what kind of signs should parents be looking for?

[00:10:42] Robin: Yeah, I think when it's persistent, uh, when it's happening in more than one setting. So if it's happening at school and at home, that's, you know, a good sign that, that it's prevalent in both places. Tantrums, unexplained tantrums, um, pervasive, you know, negative moods, feeling like you're walking on eggshells around your kids. Um, feeling like nothing you do works seeing that like typical parenting strategies or typical school strategies are not working. And I think anytime you have that gut feeling as a parent, something's not right, or I think something's going on, or I think they're gonna be the kid and I. You know, first grade where we get them diagnosed. Right. Intervene now. You don't have to wait.

[00:11:24] Peter: That's a really, that's really good advice. It makes a lot of sense. I think it's gonna help a lot of people. Robin Maddux how can people find you?

[00:11:29] Robin: Yes, you can find us @ carebyclay.com and carebyclay.com. Cool. Yes. www.carebyclay.com .And you can always email me at Robin robin@carebyclay.com

[00:11:40] Peter: Awesome. Well, I think this is gonna be a very, very helpful episode. I really appreciate taking the time, Robin, as always, thanks to our audience for listening. Thanks to Steven Byrom for being our amazing producer/editor. We'll be back next week with another episode where we will learn a lot and hopefully continue our mission to let the world know that all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. We'll see you soon.

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Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!

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Travel Unity Founder Roni Weiss on Increasing Diversity in the World of Travel 0

Apr 19, 2023

https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to $30 off.

Roni Weiss is the Executive Director of Travel Unity, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit focused on increasing diversity in the world of travel through individual and community empowerment. Roni was born in Long Island, New York and grew up in Snohomish County, Washington, north of Seattle. At the age of 10, Roni began attending Edmonds Community College (now Edmonds College), receiving his Associate’s of Arts and Science with Honors at the age of 12. He graduated from Lynnwood High School at the age of 15, then attended the University of Washington, receiving double Bachelor’s of Arts degrees in Drama and English at the age of 18. Through years of world travels, Roni visited 70+ countries, including every country in Europe, six of seven continents, and taught English in Italy, France, Taiwan, and Chile, both to youth and professionals. In 2011, Roni founded RW Social, a marketing and consulting company for the travel industry and nonprofits. From 2011 to 2016, Roni worked with Africa Travel Association (now Africa Tourism Association), assisting with and speaking at ATA’s events in NYC, DC, and multiple African countries. In 2013, RW Social launched the New York Travel Festival, an event focused on innovation and sustainability in the world of travel, which served as the genesis for Travel Unity, where he now serves as Executive Director. Roni lives in Westchester County, NY with his partner, Lauren, and their four children. Today we learn how travel is changing for all people including the Neurodiverse, and about some things we can do to help move forward. Enjoy!

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

02:40 - “DEI” is a term used often in this interview; it represents: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion

02:48 - Welcome and introducing Roni Weiss! Ref: Africa Tourism Association, RW Social, Travel Unity, NewYork TravelFest

04:36 - So how do you go to college at age 12, and then high school at age 15?!

06:10 - Ref: Saved By the Bell

07:00 - What made you focus on diversity in Travel, specifically? Ref: Monica Drake

09:00 - Talk about diversity and travel. What you think can be changed, what has been changed, what needs to be changed? Ref: Travel Unity

10:45 - “Local and regional travel is as meaningful and you don't have to pay as much to do it”

10:52 - On tourism management, workforce, visitor-ship, community impact and representation

12:20 - Talk about Neurodiversity and Travel? What are you working on in that venue?

12:50 - Roni on his ADD diagnosis and in what ways it has played a role in his career!

13:01 - On being physically in pain due to boredom

14:00 - About how all people fit multiple ‘things’!

15:00 - On the ‘well, you don't look sick’ stereotype

15:51 - On the importance of good listening, universal inclusion, empathy, and respect.

17:10 - How do people find out more about you?

Web: www.TravelUnity.org Roni@travelunity.org

Socials: @TravelUnity on Twitter INSTA Facebook and Roni is on LinkedIN and all of his info in also on his website here: http://roniweiss.com

18:00 - We are thrilled that you are here and listening! ADHD and all forms of Neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

18:19 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits. Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat:

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey everyone, Peter Shankman. Welcome to Faster Than Normal. Another episode. Thrilled that you're here. As always, it's a Monday morning in New York City; recording Day as always for the podcast. What a lovely day outside. I think we're finally, finally hitting Spring! Of course now that I said that we'll probably have eight inches of snow by Thursday but it's still a beautiful blue sky day. I just came in from outside and it's, it's nice. It's a little chilly, but we're getting there. Guys… we made it through another winter!

I wanna give a shout out to Skylight Frame, the official Skylight frame. They are sponsors of this episode of Faster Than Normal. Let me tell you about Skylight! So I have a daughter, you all know, her name is Jessa, she's nine. Jessa, like any nine year old, doesn't really do what I tell her to do until I say it like 4, 5, 6, 18, 54 times. And the problem with that is that when your ADHD, you're kind of forgetful to begin with. So Jessa sits there and I tell her, Jessa, change Waffles' pee pads, my dog right? [@petersdogwaffle on INSTA] Changes defense. Okay, Dad. And she goes right back to Roblox. And then two times later, Jessa change Waffle's pad? Goes, okay, dad goes right back to robots. And by the fourth time, I've forgotten about it. She's forgotten about it. Waffle doesn't get his pee pad changed. No one's happy. And the house smells. So Skylight Frame eliminates that. It is a essentially a calendar. It's calendar with pictures. It sits on your wall, it connects to wifi, it connects to your Google calendar, and it adds your chores. So I tell Jessa say, Hey, Jessa before you leave for school, before you get in your iPad to play Roblox, before you go to school, are all your chores done? Are they green on the board? She looks. Now I gotta change Waffles pads. Change the pads, comes back. Click. Not you waffle. I, I know you heard your name, but I'm actually not talking about you. I'm doing, doing a podcast. He click, she clicks on the, click it on the, on the chore, it goes away. When all her chores are done, she gets her iPad, everyone wins. It makes life so much easier. It is unbelievable. It's a 10" inch touchscreen display. It's digital, it's gorgeous. You put all your photos in from your photo album, you can send 'em all there. And when it's not in calendar mode, you get a beautiful display of all the pictures. Totally worth it. Up to 30 bucks off with code: PeterShankman at www.skylightframe.com .And as always, thank you Skylight for sponsoring this episode as well as many others of the Faster Than Normal Podcast .

Alrighty, we have a fun guest today. Roni Weiss is the Executive Director of Travel Unity, a 501c nonprofit focus on increasing diversity in the world of travel through individual and community empowerment. I love that. I love when diversity is increased in any capacity, but travel is something you really don't think about. And when I booked you, Roni when I, when I got in touch with you and realized, Hey, I should get you on the podcast on my next flight, I looked around. And I was sitting in business class and was pretty much surrounded by white, middle-aged guys like myself. And that was interesting. That was the first time, I'll admit, that was the first time in my 20 something years of travel I actually looked and noticed. So you've, you've, if nothing else you opened my mind, at the age of 10, Ronnie began. At the age of 10, mind you; hear me, 10. Roni began attending Edmunds Community College, received Associates of Arts and Science with honors at the age of 12. Then he graduated from Linwood High School, laid a little backwards there at 15, and then went to the University of Washington, receiving a double Bachelor of Arts degree in job in English at the age of 18. So it's shame that he's really such a non-starter, really done nothing. He's, he's only visited 70 countries, including every country in Europe, six of the seven continents, and he's taught English in Italy, France, Taiwan, and Chile; both to youth and professionals. In 2011, he found an RW Social and marketing consulting company for the travel industry. From 2011 to 16, he worked with Africa Travel Association, now Africa Tourism Association. I think we have a very, very close mutual friend in that. And then we as in the assists with and speaks at a t a events in New York to see local African countries. In thousand 13, he launched the New York Travel Festival and event Folks in Innovation, sustainability in the world of travel, which served the genesis for travel unity, where he now serves as executive director and he lives in Westchester. He has a wife and four children, so pretty awesome. Roni, welcome.

[00:04:33] Roni: Thank you. Thanks Peter. It's good to chat with you.

[00:04:35] Peter: So how the hell do you go to college at 12 and then high school at 15, then college get. 15. What the hell, dude?

[00:04:41] Roni: So I was in the challenge program, the, the gifted program in elementary school. So they, they bussed us to another place and it wasn't clear where I would go to middle school. So we looked into different options. We, we vi my mom and I visited the principal at the local middle school and my mom is immensely obsessed with education. She still is getting master's degrees and such in her. Now in her 60's. So when we went there, the principal said that middle school's about socialization, not education and she didn't like hearing that. So meanwhile, I was in sixth grade with, with a guy who said he was taking community college classes and I said, You know, I, I, I, I think I'm smarter than him, so why don't I just do that? So my parents being the sort of pushy Jews that they are went and talked to the the people who were running the community college were like, what would it take to, to get our kid in? And they're like, well, he needs to prove he can do it. So take this assessment test and I did, and at first I needed to get the approval of every teacher whose class I was in. And yeah, I started the summer after sixth grade. At the age of 10. I got really involved in the electronic music department there and for my mom, her focus was, Hey, move on to to university after this. But meanwhile, I had grown up on Saved by the Bell and everybody said like, you shouldn't miss high school. It's the best experience of your life. So I'm like, okay, why don't I go and do that? So after three years of community college, including getting associates, I went to high school and it wasn't the best experience in my life, but what it did serve as was kind of a buffer because university was one of, if not the best experience of my life, being there from 15 to 18 was perfect for me. So, you know, people treated me like their younger brother and, you know, I, I got live in the dorms and that was, that was amazing. So had I gone to university starting at 13, I wouldn't have had that experience that I got to have.

[00:06:45] Peter: That's very cool. Now tell us about, so diversity came early for you in life, and what made. I mean, you were working in the travel industry already, and so was it just a natural switch to say, There's no diversity here. I mean, you, so you think travel and you think travel is a worldwide thing, and I don't think anything constitutes diversity more than like worldwide.

[00:07:08] Roni: Yeah. I, I, the thing was, as you mentioned, I, I started that event New York travel festival and we were already trying to talk about things that I didn't see being discussed as much except in certain circles. So sustainability, you know, in theory is something everybody should care about, especially if you look at it at, its kind of root of what does it mean to sustain something. It means to keep it, every business should wanna keep itself going. So sustainability and storytelling and innovative ideas in tech, I wasn't seeing it necessarily as, as mainstream. So in 2015 we had a session at the festival called Traveling While Black, and it was all black women and it was at the New York Times building and moderated by Monica Drake, who's a black woman editor at the Times. And it was clear that this wasn't being discussed. And like you, when you mentioned the business class thing, I started being aware.. And it's interesting cause people like; how has this changed in recent years? And I think representation, not necessarily in the traveling public, but marketing has changed and that's kind of a problem. But years ago I would see a financial services ad, and it would be a mixed race couple with a, a banker in a wheelchair, and then the next Ad you'd see would be a destination or a property or whatever, where everybody who was traveling was white and everybody who was serving them was a person of color. And I, I, on that side I just became aware and from the work with Africa Travel Association, from talking to black colleagues who were who felt marginalized in the industry and in their own travels. And then on the other side, I'd been working with young people for many years. So the idea that I had been around all these folks through the event I was running through doing content creation, et cetera, that people get all this value for tra from travel and as we've already noted, not everybody has those opportunities. Right.

[00:09:02] Peter: That's very true. And so tell, talk about, you know, not to dive right in, but talk about diversity and travel. Talk about what you think can be changed, what has been changed, what needs to be changed, so,

[00:09:14] Roni: When it comes to the work we do, we we're doing two things in Travel Unity. One is getting individuals, especially young people, to see travel is something they can do no matter who they are in a career path. Because I, no offense to you or anybody who else who takes business class, but a lot of folks aren't gonna be able to afford that.

[00:09:32] Peter: Oh, I can't afford 'em, my clients afford it. I can't afford it to save my life, let's not.. Let's be honest.

[00:09:36] Roni: So, so, but, but my, my point there is that, that that's the vision a lot of people have of what travel is; of like, oh, I have to spend, you know, all this money and spend, go to this fancy hotel and, you know, all of that. Or that they have to get a job where They're a consultant and somebody else is paying for it. Right. However it is, there's this perception, but the reality is, you know, you, you and I both live in New York state and when I went up to Watkins Glen State falls a few hours upstate, I was personally offended. Cause like I'm like, this is an amazing spot that people would be Instagramming the hell out of it if they were overseas and they'd go out of their way and they'd be on the plane and they'd take their selfies on it, and then they'd go to that one thing and that would be the thing. But because it's in New York state, people don't necessarily seek it out as much, and that's part of the problem. And in the city, obviously in New York City, there's so much cultural experiences that you can have.

When I was in Flushing Chinatown, after I had visited China, I'm like, I feel like I'm in China again. Yeah, so to be able to have these experiences of culture, nature, et cetera, you can do it without even taking a plane. And that's one of our big focuses that local and regional travel is as meaningful and you don't have to pay as much to do it. So that's on one side. On the other side we have our d e I standards for travel and tourism, which we developed with a lot of people back in 2020. And those are focused on the three different ways that a visitor facing organization. So any company, museum, destination, whatever it is that's trying to bring visitors in. What are the three different ways they deal with people? So management and workforce, the people who work there visitorship, the visitors, and then community impact. So what we're trying to do is make sure that voices are being heard, that things are being processed, and that's one of the biggest.

Things that I've discovered over the past few years is that we have, you know, the culture wars and all these discussions around things, but a lot of this real core diversity, equity, and inclusion work. Yes, the identities and the communities are important for a variety of reasons, historical and present. But some of it is literally just if a visitor fills out. A complaint form or a, you know, a, a wonderful compliment. Are you doing anything with it? Right? Are you doing with a, doing anything with the information you're getting? And are you listening to all the different kinds of people who are giving you feedback and information? Because a lot of time that just gets lost in the mix, and then people don't feel like they're being heard. They don't feel like they belonged. And at the very least, it's neutral, if not negative. Whereas if you actually had processes in place, it could be positive.

[00:12:14] Peter: Yeah. Makes a lot of sense. I gotta ask the question based on this podcast, which it is, talk about neurodiversity. Are you, are you approaching that at all?

[00:12:22] Roni: So I, for you already mentioned the, the ADD stuff. It's where, one of the things that I usually mention at the the top of this, because the things about identities is they're not monoliths. Right? Exactly. Exactly. Having ADD, OR ADHD,, you might be able to draw broad strokes about the things that you always talk about, about the chemical side of things, and I'll tell you in terms of my own sort of trajectory, first. You know, I was diagnosed and I think based off of the education path, anybody who themselves is ADD, ADHD or knows people; could see how, huh, yeah, that probably sounds like who Roni is. At a certain point I felt like I had outgrown it, and what I realized was it was kind of the opposite. I had completely structured my whole life around never being bored, right? That I was always going somewhere new. I was always having constant stimulation. And now that I'm more settled than having, you know, more of a, a regularish kinda role, I'm more aware of how different I am than neurotypical people. And how I just, I literally cannot stand being bored. It physically pains me. And you know, I will be sitting there and there will be a session of some kind, a speaker, and if I can't take it, I'm gonna go nuts. Whereas other people, they can manage to get their way through. So the idea in and of itself that neurodiversity is a part of of this is when we're talking about diversity, we're talking about all the different aspects of identity community that makes some of these concerns, needs, et cetera, different. I think one of the unfortunate things sometimes, and I understand why it's the case, but is, is that there ends up being a fixation on, on race and ethnicity in this work. And the thing about that is it, it, it loses sight of things. If you were focused on getting more black or Hispanic or Asian or whatever it is, people into space, that's fine if that's your focus. But don't say you're doing diversity, equity, and inclusion broadly if you're not looking at the identities broadly because there are disabled black people , there are gay, bisexual, Hispanic people, et cetera. And I think that's one of the things that ends up being, being lost in all this, is that idea of intersecting identities. That if you're saying that somebody is just one thing, there are two problems with that. One is they're not, they're multiple things. And also it suggests that everybody's experiences within that identity are all the same. And that's not true either.

[00:14:50] Peter: Think one of the interesting things also is the fact that that which is not visible is often not talked about. Right. And, and you know, you hear this from people who have diseases that, that start off with a conversation of, well, you don't look sick. You know, and you have sort of the same thing in d e i in the respect that, you know, I, other than the fact that I probably need to lose 20 pounds, I look like a perfectly normal 50 year old. Right. I, I actually guess the fact that I need to lose 50 pounds makes me even more of a nor perfectly normal 50 year old. But, but you know, the, the fact that my, what you don't see is that my brain is racing a million miles an hour, and I've had to do 15 things this morning to keep it in check, right? And, and that, and because it's not visible, it's easy to overlook and it's easy to ignore. And I think that d e I needs to be, you know, needs to focus on.

[00:15:34] Roni: I think that, you know, this comes down to, to the empathy and the awareness thing. I, I'm a big fan of the concept of neutral ignorance. That there are just things you don't know because you haven't experienced them. And as you said, if you're not seeing them at all, then how are you going to, to be aware of them? Which is why it's so important for people to be listening to other people's stories and to, it's one of the first things that we have in our individual pledge, which is just the recognition that different people have different lives and have different experiences, and that's one of the biggest problems that I see overall, you know, if I, if I make this a little more political, is that on, on the sort of stereotypical left wing side, you have people who, who get kind of absorbed in their feelings of guilt, which makes it about them. If you go to the kind of stereotypical right wing side, it's like, well, I, you know, didn't grow up with money and whatever; it's like yeah, nobody's saying you didn't have problems growing up. The point is that different people have different things and you need to be aware of that, and it needs to come from empathy. It needs to be you seeing what it's like in other people's shoes and trying to make the results, the outcomes better for everybody as much as possible. And if you're fixating on yourself and your own experiences in any way, that's not about other people, and that's not what this work is either.

[00:16:52] Peter: Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Tell me how people can find you, because I think that this is,.. First of all, we're out of time, so I wanna have you back. That goes without saying. But tell me how people can find you. I mean, the, the, the premise of travel unity is something that's only gonna obviously grow. Right, and I'm, I'd be curious if we talk again or we will talk again to learn how it's being embraced by the travel world as a whole. But how can be able to find you for now?

[00:17:15] Roni: So, Travel Unity is at www.TravelUnity.org. You can email me, Roni at travel unity.org. You could find me on LinkedIn in, various places, but yeah, always happy to talk to folks. You know, it's an interesting sort of world that, that we're in with Travel Unity. As you said, it's already sort of growing, so the more folks we have who are interested in what we're doing, always happy to talk to them.

[00:17:37] Peter: I love seeing d e i being included in all different categories. I think it's wonderful. Roni, thank you so much for taking the time. Really appreciate it. Guys, check out what Roni Weiss is doing at Travel. Unity. I think you really like it. Thank you for listening as always. The new book, The Boy with the Faster Brain, is selling like hotcakes on Amazon. Still it hit number one in this category. It's still there, I think. I am speaking at schools, I'm speaking at colleges, I'm speaking at businesses. As always, if any of you would like to have me there, I will do it for books! So buy books, get me to speak. That works for college and for universities and schools. That doesn't necessarily work for businesses but we'll figure something out. Shoot me an email, peter @shankman.com. Either way thrilled that you guys are listening. Thank you so much for taking the time. We will see you next week. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Bye-bye.

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Download this Episode

A Nomadic Lifestyle and ADHD 0

Apr 12, 2023

Hey guys, Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today; what chores your child has to do today. It's basically a family calendar all-in-one. You can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what's on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog! - Mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she's done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we've ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar. And you are gonna love.. I mean, truly it is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall, added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver- on your wall! So now your wall has pictures. That's cool. Check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off.

In her own words: Hello, I'm Kelsey! I am in my early 30's, originally from Michigan, and got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 26. I graduated with a degree in Psychology and Public Relations, and have worked in several different roles in sales, customer service, operations, and marketing in the computer software industry within the last decade. Shortly after being diagnosed, I sold my house, furniture, and all my belongings to pursue a nomadic lifestyle. From the years of 2017-2020 I participated in an organization called WWOF, where I worked on several different organic farms across the US in exchange for room and board. During this time, I worked remotely, tried stand up comedy, adventured, and brainstormed on how I could make money on my own terms. In 2020, I moved to Nashville and in 2023 relocated back to Michigan. I have a passion for fitness, international traveling, learning, and meeting other neurodivergent people. Today we learn why Kelsey decided to try out the nomadic lifestyle and if it is perhaps a choice for you also, enjoy!

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

02:06 - Welcome and introducing Kelsey!

03:00 - What made you decide to go Nomad; the ADHD diagnosis?

04:20 - On WWOOF-ing ref: https://wwoof.net/destinations/

05:00 - On actually making the commitment and doing it. Yeah…how did you do that?

06:20 - On leveraging the prep-work and risk taking

07:00 - On settling-in and how she got into WWOOF-ing

08:27 - Did you ADHD play a big/small role in your being able to learn something new, and in a hurry?

09:45 - What was in a typical day that got you to that euphoric high?

10:00 - A day in the life on the farm

11:05 - On re-claiming perspective and finding a passionate work ethic once again

13:38 - Would you recommend this lifestyle for other people with ADHD; maybe to change things up even? If so then why?

16:30 - What are you doing now?

Another big shout out to Skylight calendar!

18:00 - We are thrilled that you are here! ADHD and all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. So check it out. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI

My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

18:41 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat:

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey everyone, what's up? My name is Peter Shankman. I'm the host of the Faster Than Normal podcast, and I wanna give a big shout out to Skylight for sponsoring this episode again, Skylight Calendar, guys, I told you about this thing before. I love it. It sits in my kitchen wall and tells my daughter exactly what she has to do. It tells her what she has to bring to school. It tells her what she can leave home. It tells her what chores have to be done. I don't have to yell at her anymore. She doesn't complain. We can throw photos on there of family, of friends, of my parents, of her, of of her mom's parents, everyone. She sees everything. She can touch screen it when she's done. She loves going over feeding the dog and then touch screening to say that she's fed the dog and the chore disappears. They're color coded, which is great for people like me who have ADHD and people like you. Check out Skylight. It is a phenomenal, phenomenal calendar. It'll make your life so much easier and simpler,. You'll have so much less to complain about. Skylightframe.com . Use code Peter Shankman and get up to 30 bucks off your first offer. And I wanna thank them again for sponsoring the podcast. The Skylight calendar is incredible. Skylight frame.com. Check it out. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code: PeterShankman

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey guys. Peter Shankman. Welcome to that episode of Faster Than Normal. I am your host as I have been going on, I don't know, six years or something ridiculous like that. It is lovely to have you here. We are having a good time. We're gonna have a good time today. We're gonna talk to a wonderful young woman named Kelsey, but before we do, I wanna give a big shout out to Skylight Calendar. Makes the skylight frame. They now have the skylight calendar, which let me tell you, has changed my life with my daughter. She doesn't argue with me over what chores to do anymore because they're literally on a digital calendar on our wall, in our kitchen table area place. Basically, she goes in, she pours her Honeynut Cheerios. She looks up at the calendar and says, oh, okay, today I have chorus and have to bring my coral music and I have to feed the dog and I have to do all this stuff. And as she does it, she clicks the checkbox on the touchscreen and she checks it off. She loves doing that. It's color coded for people like me who have ADHD. It is the easiest thing in the world. You can upload all your photos to it as well. So when you're not using the calendar, it shows cool photos. Remind you of places you've been in, things you've done. You can get up to 30 bucks off with the code: PeterShankman at skylightframe.com. Huge, huge fan of this calendar. It has made my life a lot easier, and we want to thank them for hosting or for, for sponsoring the hosting of this podcast. As always, it is wonderful to have such wonderful, wonderful, fascinating, and brilliant sponsors such as Skylight Frame. Check out the frame, check up the calendar. You're really, really gonna like it. Use code Peter Shankman. For 30 bucks up to 30 bucks off and lemme know what you think. So with that said,

[00:02:06] Peter: I wanna welcome Kelsey. Kelsey, I'm gonna screw up your last name again. Sterkenburg. Is that right? Yes. Yep. All right. Got it. Kelsey is in her early thirties, she's originally from Michigan. She got diagnosed with ADHD when she was 26. She graduated from the, with a degree in psychology and public relations, and worked in several she worked in several different roles in sales, customer service, operations, and marketing, blah, blah, blah. But after she got diagnosed, she decided to sell her house and furniture and all her belongings and pursuing nomadic lifestyle from the years of 17, 2017, 2020. She participated in an organization called WWOF, or. Which I like, where she worked on several different organic farms across the United States in exchange room and board. During this time, she worked remotely. She tried standup comedy. She adventured, she brainstormed how she could make money on her own terms. In 2020, she moved to Nashville and 2023 back to Michigan. She loves fitness, international traveling, learning, and meeting other neurodivergent people. Kelsey, welcome to Faster Than Normal.

[00:02:59] Kelsey: Thank you so much. Thanks for having.

[00:03:01] Peter: My pleasure. So you have an interesting life when you decided, Hey, I'm ad, was it because you decided, because you had ADHD that you decided you were gonna go nomad or was there something else involved?

[00:03:11] Kelsey: You know, it was, um, it was mostly the ADHD. It was just this kind of light bulb came outta my head and it made sense at the time of my life. Um, I was a little bored with how I was living. I, I was trying to kind of fit in and mask do what everyone else was doing around me. Um, kind of just live the Midwest life and it felt very hard for me. Um, I felt very stable. I felt very safe, but I didn't feel like I was doing what I really wanted to do. Um, and it's hard, you know, when you first get diagnosed it makes so much sense. It's just you finally have, you can see color. Yeah. After living in black and white for so long. So for me, I just thought, I wanna travel, I wanna go see things, I wanna go do things. And of course I, you know, I knew I had to work and I knew I had to have everything, kind of my ducks in a row. But I did feel confident in myself for the first time in my life. I felt like I can do this! You know, I wanna go move somewhere different, somewhere new, and I've always been pretty adaptable. So I kind of just looked online and I, um, I had heard a lot of people talk about, um, woofing is what it's called. And it actually is, um, an organization that allows you to, um, like you mentioned, live on organic farms and, um, move around the country and, um, you're not necessarily making money, but you're not losing money. So I saw that as an opportunity to grow and discover my love for working again. I had gotten a little bit stagnant in that department. Um, I had kind of lost that passion because I was doing things I didn't truly have a passion for. Um, so I just decided to go for it.

[00:04:52] Peter: Lemme interrupt you up for a second. Let's talk about that. Cuz the concept of sort of selling all your crap and just going out, working on an organic farm or doing anything like that. You know, a lot of people talk about it, oh, we should do this or do that, but it's scary as hell to actually make. Sleep and do it is scary as hell. So how did you swallow that fear and turn that into action? Because fear usually negates action when you're nervous, you usually, you, you're paralyzed by fear, yet you just, some somehow swallowed your fear and did it. What was it that made you do that?

[00:05:19] Kelsey: I did. You know, I put together, I've always been, I've found that when I'm very motivated towards a goal, I know it's gonna happen and I know I'm going to get there and it, it, I may seem crazy to the outside world, but to me, It makes sense and it's just, I'm laser focused, right? My hyper-focus was on, so I knew I wanted to sell my house. Um, I just knew that wasn't for me.

[00:05:42] Peter: So you owned the house in that point?

[00:05:44] Kelsey: I did, yeah. Wow. I did and I tried everything. I tried to really just create a lot of stability where I was and. Like I said, follow the norm and do what everyone else was doing. And I had done every single, I felt like I was checking off, you know, things on a list, and it felt really, um, I just felt kind of uncomfortable with it, which is strange because usually at that point in life, you, uh, feel steady and you feel comfortable. But for me, I wanted to be outside my comfort zone a little bit. So I felt like I had a little bit of a nest egg once the, the house went through. Um, and I thought to myself, I'm smart, I'm capable. I can do this, you know, and as long as I'm frugal and, um, I'm careful, I think that it will all work out because I had been playing it safe for so long at that point that. I wanted to take a risk. I wanted to go. So it was, uh, a little bit of a leap of faith, but I also had that confidence. I just knew that I was gonna be okay and I was excited. So I kind of let that draw me into, um, making that decision. Um, but I went and, um, I was excited and, um, I ended up just kind of being thrown into. Um, I went to California actually first in San Diego and, um, found a place to live pretty quickly. Um, and, you know, started the job hunts. And while I was doing that, I started to look at, um, WWOOFing because I had actually. Um, met one, I met a friend that was doing, um, woofing in Arizona and he actually, um, kind of introduced me to it. I had never heard of it before. I always, uh, you know, I just assumed that was something that, you know, maybe rich kids would do, but it was really for anyone. Um, and I thought to myself, I don't really wanna stay only in San Diego. Um, I had stayed there for a little bit. I wanted to see more. I wanted to do more. So I thought, what can I do that will allow me to. See more of this country and move around a little bit, but not, um, you know, not have to start over each time with housing and that kind of thing. So I saw, um, woofing as an opportunity to be out in nature. Um, Learned to work hard. I worked on farms, I worked with animals. Um, I helped rebuild fences. Um, and just really worked with some really interesting people. Um, and you're, you know, you're meeting people from all walks of life at the same time because there's other volunteers, um, at each site that you choose.

[00:08:26] Peter: Tell me about your adhd. How do you think your ADHD played into you're being able to be on a farm and do something incre entirely new. Right. And, and, and, and learn something basically on the fly with your feet in the fire.

[00:08:37] Kelsey: Yeah. Um, I think, um, like most ADHD people, I think, um, we're very spontaneous. We're very excited to learn. Um, when we're interested in a subject, it's, you know, there that hyper focus comes on. Um, so for me, I had always been. Um, aware of just my adventurous spirit, you know, being spontaneous and, um, interested in a lot of different things. So I, I feel the most sharp when I'm moving. When I'm, um, talking fast. I'm moving fast. I'm meeting other people. I'm, you know, there's novelty around me, so, Um, those things excite me. And, um, I think that because I had kind of been bogged down by, you know, sitting in a chair for eight hours a day and trying to, you know, living that monotonous life for a while that I was, I just, it was polar opposite of that. It was just so much dopamine. Um, and I wasn't medicated either, so it was just this, um, I guess you could call it like a euphoric high.

[00:09:44] Peter: Tell us about it. But I was, what, what was the typical day that got you to that euphoric high?

[00:09:48] Kelsey: Um, what was it that got me there?

[00:09:51] Peter: No, tell us, tell us about a typical day there. Cause you said it was euphoric high, so what were you doing? What was a typical day like for you?

[00:09:57] Kelsey: Absolutely. So what I would do is I would, um, wake up and, um, you could actually pick what kind of work you wanted to do. So, um, wake up, they actually, they feed you. They give you kind of room and board. It's, it's very nomadic, like I said. So it's, um, you know, it's not for prim and proper. It's, you know, you're, you're dirty and you're not. It's not a hotel, but you're living, well, you're living on someone's property and you're, you're helping, you're giving back to a really good cause and, um, and you're treated very well. So I would wake up, um, have breakfast and um, you know, you kind of just, Get started, you've just kind of developed this routine and you're told, okay, you know, you're in charge of the horses today or you know, the donkeys or you know, go out in the field and start um, you know, doing kind of the farm chores. And they of course had walked me through how to do that every single day. And, um, I specifically wanted to work with animals cause that is one of my biggest passions. So I would go out and kind of complete all the farm duties, and that would take a couple hours. Um, it wasn't easy, I will say, but it didn't feel What kinda,

[00:11:02] Peter: when you say farm, when you say farm duties, what were you doing?

[00:11:05] Kelsey: Yeah, I was, um, kind of like bailing the hay in, um, feeding all the animals and, um, I actually was milking the cows as well. Wow. Um, and doing a lot of different things just, um, to kind of keep all the operations up and running. This was a, I had worked on a couple different farms, um, up in the PNW area. Um, Northern California and um, also one in Montana as well in the, the Bozeman area. So each farm was different. So you do have to really just adjust to, um, the owners and their expectations, what they would like you to do. Um, but it was like a little bit of gardening as well. There was a little bit of, um, you know, learning how to manage a garden. Um, and also a lot of the food prep, you know, kind of taking in the eggs and the milk and kind of doing a little bit of food prep in the kitchen. So it kept me busy, as you can imagine. Sure, yeah. Um, a six hour shift would go by like a snap of the fingers. And I could not remember the last time I felt so, um, so busy and, um, productive and I felt like I was back in college again where I'm learning new things and you know, I'm interacting and I'm away from my phone for, you know, that period of time. And I'm just really, really happy. I feel like this is a good fit for me and this is what I need. Um, so I kind of felt like I had become a drone before that. Um, just kind of masking and blending in and trying to do what was expected of me. And then I finally chose to do something that I thought would help me grow. Um, that's a little bit unconventional, but it worked and it did really help me establish a hard work ethic again. Um, which in turn helped me kind of decide what I wanted to do next, um, with work. So, um, but it did definitely teach me that I prefer to work by myself. Um, I, I like to be independent. I like to, um, I prefer the more the self-employment route I guess you could say. So I kind of, uh, discovered my entrepreneurial spirit during that time and, um, learned a lot though. And I did that for, um, about a year and, um, did a little bit of traveling in between there.

[00:13:25] Peter: That's very, very cool.

[00:13:26] Kelsey: Tell us as well, so very risky.

[00:13:31] Peter: Tell us, uh, I guess this is my, my only my, my last question to you, because this is fascinating to me. What. You re would you recommend this lifestyle for a year or two years or three years for other people with h adhd? Because it seems to be for people who are stuck and, and in this sort of A D H D, um, uh, spinning their wheels type mentality, which we've all been in from time to time. And there are some people who are just looking for, okay, maybe this is a way to break everything and, and change everything up. Would you recommend it?

[00:13:59] Kelsey: I would, and I'll tell you why, and I know a lot of people can relate to this. I had a lot of people trying to stop me from doing this. They said, you know, you're gonna fall on your face. You're not gonna make it. Um, you don't have enough money, you don't have enough experience with life. You know, all these things. And um, and I had always found that the more people told me not to do something, the more motivated I was to do it. Um, and so I stopped kind of sharing. I stopped oversharing and I started to really just quiet the noise around me, um, and stopped comparing myself to, you know, other people. Um, and that's hard to do in your twenties, as you can imagine. It gets easier as the years go by, but, um, I thought to myself, you know, this is smart. This is a way that I'm not really losing any money. I'm not really. Um, the biggest, you know, fear I guess is just a couple months off of a real corporate job, you know, but at the same time, with everything we have in our remote world today, digital marketing, you know, you can start your own business online. There's a, there's a ton of ways to be creative and make money, and I thought.. I don't think this is gonna be hurting me. I think this will help me grow. This will reshape my perspective of life. Um, kind of bring back that childhood spirit, you know, that childhood energy and, um, get me excited about life again. And not learning the same thing in an office day after day. Um, I just, I also really wanted to rediscover my work ethic. I wanted to feel like I was really, really earning my time and my money. Um, and, you know, feel fulfilled at the end of the day. And I did. I feel like it really helped me reset, um, and put me back on the path that I was meant to be on. So it changed my life, it really did. And I know I, um, I know others have had much, you know, greater experiences with moving to different countries or traveling. but.. it definitely gave me that travel bug and that, um, thirst for life. And, um, I recognized that there were other neurodivergent people that were in that environment and I didn't feel alone and I felt, wow, there are other people like me that have struggled and just had to do something that was a little bit crazy to uh, maybe find themselves and discover where they're meant to be. Um, so I

[00:16:29] Peter: What are you doing now?

[00:16:30] Kelsey: Um, so now I am, um, kind of, I'm also still working remotely in a, a software, um, company that does analytics for, um, LMS systems. So we're kind of tracking the performance analytics for instructional designers that are creating different courses over different LMS systems. So I'm kind of working as more of a, I guess you could call me a jack of all trades, a customer success kind of manager slash business sales representative slash operations manager. So I'm, I'm in a role right now that is a really good fit. Um, it really does let me wear all the hats I like to wear. Um, and it also lets me thrive because I'm, um, working independently and, um, I don't really have anyone overseeing anything I'm doing. It's just, I'm just kind of given the reins to run with it.

[00:17:25] Peter: That's awesome. So, very cool. Kelsey, how can people find you if they wanna learn more? They, I have a feeling this might change in lives. How can people find you?

[00:17:32] Kelsey: Yeah, they can actually, um, find me on, um, LinkedIn. Um, I'm pretty active on LinkedIn, just Kelsey Sterkenberg um, or they could find me on. I have Instagram, I have Facebook, um, all those tools and my name is pretty, um, un uncommon. Yeah, true. So I think, uh, it won't be too hard to track me down, but yeah, and I'd be happy to, you know, provide my contact information if needed.

[00:17:58] Peter: Very cool guys. Kelsey, thank you so much for taking the time. Really appreciate it. Kelsey. This is a really interesting interview. I found myself really fascinated by this. Thank you so much, Peter. Awesome guys. Listen to Faster Than Normal. We want to hear what you want to hear. Let us know what you think. Don't forget, uh, the Boy with a Faster Brain is still number one. It's burning up the charts. Grab your copy, buy a copy and donate it to a library. They're shutting down libraries in this country. Man. This is. Keep libraries alive, buy a copy and donate it to a library. And if you do that, shoot me an email, let me know you did and I'll send you something fun. But either way, keep listening. We'll have another episode next week. ADHD is a gift, not a curse, as is all neurodiversity. We love that you guys are here and we're greatly thankful that you tune in every week. Stay safe, stay well. We'll talk to you soon.

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Bringing Together Friendships, Brands and Unique Experiences with Liv Schreiber 0

Apr 5, 2023

Entrepreneur, social media expert, influencer and now CEO of the hottest events in NYC, Liv Schreiber has a vision for changing how New Yorkers meet and build relationships and social communities. In the past, it was intros from friends, families, gym workout buddies or boring dating apps. Today, New Yorkers are growingly turning to the 26 year old Schreiber who's “Hot and Social” events are selling out in 36 seconds. Hot and Social has developed an event strategy where the attendees not only have an opportunity to meet and speak with their peers but an invitation to become friends in a world that many times seems so uninviting and cold. The events have continued to gain traction, and the waitlist for Liv comes from a family of entrepreneurs which you frequently will see in her content. The tagline of her company is "99% of the attendees show up alone, 100% leave as friends". This unique concept has led to some of the largest restaurant and club companies in NYC to reach out with the hope of securing a Hot and Social event for some of the most well known venues in the City. Schreiber is overwhelmed with the support and can't wait to bring her concept to other cities. Schreiber has already worked with brands such as Anheuser-Busch, Moxy, REVOLVE and Rumble. Her TikTok and Instagram accounts have been blowing up- giving Schreiber the ability to package her social, with Hot and Social's accounts and event sponsorship. The Digital Renegades CEO Evan Morgenstein sees Schreiber as a perfect new client, "Myself, coming from Rockland County and having my family in the event promotion business most of my childhood, I see Liv as a refreshing new take on bringing people, brands and unique experiences together. Liv is so smart, she lives this lifestyle- so it's authentic and she has her finger on the pulse of the 22-35 year old market in NYC and beyond. We are going to make this an international brand and I can't wait!"

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:44 - Welcome and introducing Liv Schreiber!

02:17 - On the importance of not feeling alone in a classroom setting.

03:34 - We don't need a lot of friends, but we need a few good ones. Would you agree with that?

04:20 - Tell me what your story is, how you came up with this idea. What's your background?

05:00 - Ref: Brand Caffeine

06:24 - What pushed you to decide to do something for friendship; as opposed to like dating, relationships, or the usual fare?

08:40 - Tell us about the people who go to & enjoy these events? To me it sounds like a root canal?

09:43 - What do people talk about?

11:00 - Why do you think we as adults sort of forget how to make friends?

12:26 - How do people find out more about you Liv? Web: https://www.livschreiber.com

Socials: @livschreiber on INSTA and TikTok Then.. @hotandsocial on INSTA and Liv’s Styling account is @styledbylivschreiber in INSTA & TikTok

12:25 - Can more friendships benefit everyone with ADD or ADHD and Neurodiverse?

13:07 - Thank you for your work here Peter!

13:18 - Thank you Liv!

13:20 - Another big shout out to Skylight calendar!

13:24 - We are thrilled that you are here! ADHD and all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. So check it out. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI

My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

14:06 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat:

Okay guys, another episode of Faster Than Normal! I am thrilled that you're here! About two or three months ago. I had coffee with the one we're about to talk today. Her name is Liv Schreiber and Liv calls herself, the one who's making friendship cool again, and it's really interesting. She runs a very cool company where she basically throws parties to let people make friends, and we're talking about that, but we're also talking a bigger picture about friendships. So Liv, welcome to Faster Than Normal- so good to have you!

[00:02:11] Liv: Hey Peter, you're the best. So good to finally get to be talking to you here. This is awesome!

[00:02:17] Peter: Now I'm glad to have you. I wanted to do this for a while. It's, um, you know, it's interesting, the, the, I was, I was talking last week to a elementary school. I was reading them the new book, the Boy with the Faster Brain, and everyone was, you know, it was funny to watch the kids, right? Because 30 kids in the classroom and they bun Bud buddy up with their friends to walk to the auditorium where we were doing the speech that's, I was following them, you know, talking to the teacher and I look over and all the kids have somehow buddied up with another kid and they're all holding hands and there's one who, I guess, I guess someone was absent and didn't have anyone to hold hands with and he's just sort of like walking behind everyone. And he looked a little sad. My daughter was with me cuz she had the week off from school and she walked up, she grabbed the kid's hand. Right. And my daughter's nine. This kid I think was like five or six or whatever. And, and you immediately saw the change in the kid. The kid was like, he went from like, we have no one to talk to. Like, oh, someone's holding my hand. Yeah. And he was all happy and everything. Uhhuh. It really is amazing. We don't, you know, we joke, I joke a lot that I hate people. Right. I don't think we talk enough about how valued and how important friendships are, not relationships, not dating, not marriage like crap, but the concept of friendships, right? We don't need a lot of friends, but we need a few good ones. Would you agree with that?

[00:03:29] Liv: Absolutely. And when you think about it this way, like you're, you know, that kid grows up and he moves to New York City and he doesn't know anyone and he is starting a new job and he doesn't have anyone to talk to. Like, that's debilitating and, and just one person can make a huge difference in his life. So, you know, I was that kid. I moved to New York and I knew no one, and I was jealous of people in the street who had plans. And Peter, I'm not weird, you know. I have friends, but for some reason in your twenties and your thirties, it's so hard to make those adult friendships that really can make a huge difference. So, um, I noticed that and just kind of got sick of having this, this issue and figured other people might as well.

[00:04:12] Peter: Tell me for, okay, so let's go back. Tell me what you do. Tell me your story. Um, you're not, you have never been diagnosed ADHD but you're pretty sure you have it. I met you, I knew in about three seconds you did. Tell me what your story is, how you came up with this idea. What's your background? Tell us the whole thing.

[00:04:26] Liv: Yeah, absolutely.

[00:04:27] Peter: As far as my audience is gonna know, looking at your photo, they just say, oh, she's six foot. Of course she goes to all the clubs. Of course she has tons of friends. I'm right.

[00:04:34] Liv: I'm actually five four. I'm not six foot.

[00:04:36] Peter: You come across very tall in your photos. Tell us the biggest story about you.

[00:04:39] Liv: So I'm uh, from New Jersey. I have a twin brother. Grew up with a family of entrepreneurs. Every single hu human in my family line has been an entrepreneur. My dad has major ADD, um, and I've always just had a million different things that I love to do. My brain is non- stop. It's exhausting being inside of it. Um, I have a really hard time focusing on just one thing. Um, I have little quirks and, and things that I actually read about in your book that I thought were just me things, that happen to be, um, ADD things. So I've kind of harnessed it as my superpower and the things that I really love. I've been able to turn into businesses that make money. So the first is brand caffeine. Uh, my twin brother and I own a digital marketing agency and we launch content strategy, paid ads for brands and personal brands. Um, so we're responsible for making people blow up on social media and their sales. Um, but in terms of my personal, I, on Liv Schreiber have, um, a following on Instagram and TikTok, both of which, um, on my explorer pages think I have ADD as well. So I'm constantly getting fed, you know, signs. You have ADD every day. Um, and then, you know, I started Hot and social about a year ago. Where people come to meet new people. It's not weird. They're not weird people. It's all super cool and um, the premise is everyone comes solo and leaves as friends. So it's really, really special and very fulfilling.

[00:06:12] Peter: I like that. What brought you to create something where people, you know what, most people have created a dating app. Create a relationship app. I remember, I remember going to the hell back in like early two thousands, going to the hell that was the J-Date, matzo balls every Christmas and, and, and leaving and thinking that there was no hope for humanity and I wasn't really wrong. But, um, tell me what, what, uh, pushed you to decide to do something for friendship as opposed to like dating relationships, which is usually where everyone else goes.

[00:06:39] Liv: Yeah. Number one, I'm not like a, a very sexual influencer showing my boobs on Instagram. So it, it just wouldn't, as a Lisa Lit, our shared friend would say, no fit my brand aesthetic. Um, That's number one. Um, it started out as hot and single because my twin brother was single. And I go around and I interview people who are hot and single, but that's just not the root of who I am. So in honor of that authenticity, um, switched it over, rebranded to hot and social. And the point is, is that when you come in just looking for friends or just looking to meet one other people, you're always pleasantly surprised and leave with more, especially if you do happen to meet a romantic connection. It's not something that you went in looking for. And I think that's the problem with a lot of dating apps is people are going in with this expectation and being let down every time.

[00:07:32] Peter: Yeah, it makes sense. I mean I think that that, you know, especially cuz dating apps need people to get let down in order for them to continue to make money. Exactly. Right. If everyone on dating apps found everyone immediately, they're, they're, you know, dating apps anymore.

[00:07:43] Liv: Right. And the great thing is there is a cap in, I guess some societies on romantic partners, but there's no cap on friendship. You can come and come back and come back again and still, you know, be excited by new people that you're meeting.

[00:07:58] Peter: It's very possible. Um, tell us about the people who go to these events, because I imagine that if you're going to an event to make friends, right, there's two types of people who go to the, to an event to make friends type of people who, you know, I don't think people imagine like, oh, this is actually gonna be fun. I'm looking forward to this. You know, for, for a lot of people, d, ADHD, going into a room full of people where the expectation is you have to talk to all these people. You've never met. Right. And you have to, uh, make small talk for an hour, two hours, three hours is the equivalent of going to a dentist.

[00:08:33] Liv: No, no, no.

[00:08:35] Peter: I'm not saying, I'm not saying that's what you do, but for a lot of people with adhd, I mean, I don't necessarily know if going to a, going to a room, Hey, you're gonna go to this room and you're gonna, there's a hundred people there and you're gonna talk to 50 of them, and good luck. You know, that, that, that, I don't know. Root canals, I, I sort of broke up my mind. So tell us why this is different and tell us how people sort of survive this and enjoy it?

[00:08:54] Liv: Okay. I love that. That's really funny. Um, so the number one thing is everyone's on the same page, so you're picturing yourself as going somewhere alone, where other people may know each other. This is. Peter. This is like freshman year of college. Everyone's on the same playing field. No one knows each other at the events. I show up solo. So it's really exciting because if you're someone that's looking to challenge themselves or just try something new or get out of the typical bar scene, it's really awesome because the energy is actually like ADD puppy. It's so friendly, so warm, so welcoming, so much great energy because you can literally turn to anyone there and know that they want to talk to you. I know that you wanna talk to them. Um,

[00:09:43] Peter: what do people talk about?

[00:09:44] Liv: Talk about everything. Where are you from? Where in the city are you? And we always have an activity, so it's not just like gathering people in a room with drinks. I barely drink, so it, that just wouldn't make sense. What we do is we do fun things. So, um, we're having pickleball tournaments. We had one on Friday, we have another one this coming Friday. So you know, everyone like does some rose and rally. We're drinking rose, and then we're going to rally. And learn how to play on the courts. We have comedy shows coming up, so it's like there's always an experience and something to talk about or look forward to or bond over. Um, and I think that's what makes us different.

[00:10:19] Peter: There's obviously a need for these things, right? Why is it so hard to make friends and not so much just, you know, oh, in New York, I think it's hard for adults to make friends, period. Because we're, as kids, it's sort of expected of us, right? I remember I have this great photo of my daughter, um, when she's like two years old and she's with a bunch of her friends on the playground and we, someone said, okay, it's time to go, everyone, get your buddy. And they just walked over and they immediately held hands and there was no, uh, issue with that because that's what they're trained to do, right? So we trained them to do that. But at some point as we mature the concept of go find your buddy disappears, right? And people either go out on their own or they have their own social circle and they don't wanna move out of. Why do you think that is? Why do you think we, for lack of a better word, forget how to make friends?

[00:11:10] Liv: I think we get so absorbed by our own selves and, and by our own lives that we kind of forget that the world is going on around us. Like I, I think work comes into play and finding a partner comes into play and friendship kind of gets pushed to the side. Um, and it's sad because people kind of start, stop growing, right? Like, you know, every year in college we're forced to learn something new. But you become an adult and you kind of forget that that life is like a classroom too, and you have to constantly be pushing yourself and learning new things and meeting new people. So, you know, I, I don't think it's anything to shame ourselves about. I think it's just about remembering, oh, this thing's still going on, and, and there's so many people that are super cool that are out there that we don't even know exist yet.

[00:12:02] Peter: It's very, very possible. I think that, that we get into these ruts, we get into sort of these moments where it's like, okay, I'm good. I have enough. Right? I don't need more. I don't want go through because it's hard to make friends, right? No one ever said it was easy, and so if we don't, if we have what we have and we're comfortable and we're in our comfort zone, we don't necessarily have to do more because that's hard to do. The problem is nothing grows in your comfort zone, and so over time you need to do that.

[00:12:23] Liv: No, I, I, exactly. I hear you. I agree with that.

[00:12:26] Peter: Uh, Liv how can people find you? What? I know you have a phenomenal Instagram. I follow it. What, what? Tell people what it is. So how people can find you more.

[00:12:31] Liv: It's at Liv Schreiber. L i v s c h r e i b e r. Um, and Hot and Social is Hot and social. H o t and s o c i A L. Am I okay. I need to wake up. Um, But yeah, I'm super excited and I think also having ADD or undiagnosed ADD for everyone who's watching is actually such a benefit in friendships because you know, there's no one else who can text 20 of their friends at eight in the morning and check in on them and ask them how they're doing. Like I think having ADD actually is a huge, um, it, it, it's really a huge asset to my friendship. So, Peter, I'm really grateful that you've taught me that and reading your book and hearing, uh, you know, about all your tips and tricks on this podcast has really helped me. So thank you so much. Yeah.

[00:13:18] Peter: I appreciate it. Thank you. It's great. It's great to have you and, and, and hopefully we can connect again and see each other in person again. I had a lot of fun over that coffee a couple months ago. It was fun.

Um, Guys, you've been listening to Fast Than Normal. We appreciate you. We love that you're here. If you haven't already checked out the new book, the Boy With the Faster Brain, it was on Today in New York yesterday on the Today Show. It is blowing up. It is. It is gaining a lot of traction, if you haven't, please leave us reading on Amazon. We love that. But either way, we will see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you again to Skylight frames, skylight calendar, https://skylightframe.com. Check them out. To 30 bucks off with code PeterShankman. We will see you guys next week. Have a wonderful, wonderful week. Stay safe, stay healthy! ADHD and all Neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. We'll see you soon.

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