Melissa Finkelstein is a New Jersey- based author, lawyer, and proud mom of three. Melissa has been writing and rhyming since she could form words. After graduating from Fordham Law, she began her career as a litigator in Manhattan. Because rhyming has always been her passion, she created a custom poetry business, Designer Rhymes so she could maintain that creative outlet. Once she had her son (7), and twin daughters (4), each with unique personalities and needs, the stars aligned for Melissa to publish her first children's book. Picky the Panda and the Tickly Tail is the first book in a series of three to come from author Melissa Finkelstein. Picky the Panda is a heartwarming story about a highly sensitive panda, which shares lessons of embracing sensory differences, practicing empathy, and recharging when overwhelmed. Picky the Panda was inspired by Melissa's daughter Skylar who has sensory processing disorder. Picky the Panda is now available on Amazon and in select children's bookstores. Enjoy!
In this episode Peter and Melissa discuss:
01:20 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!
01:39 - Intro and welcome Melissa Finkelstein!
02:48 - So from Law to Children’s books; tell us your story!
05:40 - Isn’t it amazing what kids teach us. Are you finding that people are familiar with the topics in your book?
06:57 - What led to getting your daughter diagnosed?
09:30 - How old is she now and have all of your children read the book?
10:15 - Do you think that she’s beginning to, (or will), benefit some from advances in awareness, research, etc?
11:18 - What’s been the reaction and feedback to your book outside of the family?
12:00 - Is the book being used to explain to your daughter's classmates about Sensory Processing Disorder?
13:30 - On possessing supercharged senses
14:25 - How can people find more about you? Web: Everywhere fine books are sold
Socials: @melissafinkelsteinbooks on INSTA
14:45 - Thank you Melissa!
15:02 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!
15:41 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.
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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:
[00:00:34] Peter: Hey everyone, how's it going? My name is Peter Shankman and this is Faster Than Normal. I wanted to see if you expected me to say it, try to shake things up a little bit. Okay. It is a Thursday here in a very cold New York City. We have to say a fond farewell to fall, which lasted about. Two and a half days, and we are most certainly into winter. It's about 34 degrees outside right now, sunny, but cold as hell. So I am inside with a sleeping dog and with Melissa Finkelstein. She's actually in New Jersey, but we are talking today because Melissa is a New Jersey based author, lawyer, and proud mom of three. She's been writing and rhyming since she could form words. Her words, not mine. After graduating from Fordham Law, she began her career as a litigator in Manhattan. She created a custom poetry business called Designer Rhymes. So here she is as a litigator. Did you, I, I gotta ask you later, remind me to ask you if you actually rhymed during court cases. Cause that would've been awesome. Mm-hmm. . But why are we talking to her today? We're talking to her. She has a son who's seven and twin daughters who are four. They each have unique personality and needs. That's where she decided to publish her first book called her first Children's book called Picky the Panda and the Tickly Tale. It's a first book in a series of three and Picky The Panda is a heartwarming story about a highly sensitive panda who shares lessons of embracing sensory diff differences, practicing empathy and recharging when overwhelmed, and I think we can all relate to that Picky The Panda- on Amazon and everywhere you get children's books. Welcome Melissa. Good to have you.
[00:02:15] Melissa: Good morning. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for that intro
[00:02:18] Peter: And just in case you ever think that nothing good comes out of divorce. Melissa came to me through my ex, let me get this right, my ex sister-in-law.
[00:02:32] Melissa: That's right.
[00:02:33] Peter: My ex-step sister-in-law. Right.
[00:02:34] Melissa: I think you're stuck with her. I think she's just your sister-in-law still.
[00:02:37] Peter: Yeah. My sister-in-law, she reached out to me and said, you know, hey, have a guest for you. I'm like, I didn't even know you knew I had a podcast. So good to know . Anyway, it is great to meet you, Melissa. Thank you for taking the time. So from law to children's books, tell us your story!
[00:02:52] Melissa: Sure. So I've always been a writer and a rhymer, um, as I said, and that's really been my passion and that's kinda how I wound up in law. Um, I thought, you know, I'm really good at writing. I'm good at. Reading and problem solving. My skill sets seem to fit. I'm gonna go be a lawyer. It sounds pretty fancy and you know, I can have all this success and, um, I did have some fun and, you know, some fulfillment doing it, but I really missed like the joy and the whimsy of my childhood, to be honest. Um, so I toyed with the idea. Maybe I would be a preschool teacher. I know that couldn't be more opposite from being a litigator in Manhattan, but I really just wanted to use my creativity. My fun, you know, happy go lucky personality and doing like corporate insecurities litigation really didn't bring me that kind of joy. Um, as you might expect. And, you know, my life was all about disputes and I, I'm all about making peace. I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I fighting for a living? So this, this isn't bringing me joy anymore. Um, so all along, as you mentioned, while I was litigating, I had my little side gig, which just really was. You know, a passion project and bringing me happiness and it was creating custom poems for people for, you know, milestone occasions and that kind of thing. And I loved making others happy through my words. And so once I had my kids, I thought, you know, this is perfect. They're all so different. You know, they're, they learned so much from children's books and I think this would be a great outlet for me to use my words and. You know, I, I'm starting a series of three books, each of which are inspired by my three kids. So they're like my little muses at this point. Um, and in doing so, I'm focusing on what, you know, one of their biggest personality, um, pieces or struggles or challenges are to, you know, try to reach children like them. And in doing so, I wrote and published my first book, Picky The Panda and the Tickly Tale as you mentioned. And it is inspired by my little girl, Skyler, who has sensory processing disorder. And I didn't realize that by sharing her story, um, you know, I actually have become kind of a sensory processing disorder advocate and someone who is working. My butt off at this point to bring awareness to this condition and to what children like Skyler and um, like so many of your listeners might be experiencing. And that has been one of the most beautiful things to come from pivoting into my role as a children's book author.
[00:05:22] Peter: It's interesting because, you know, I mean, first of all, I had some nursery school teachers who definitely could have been litigators, but, but that's neither here nor there. Um, , it's interesting, you know, you made that switch. Kids do that. They, they, they have this uncanny ability to take whatever you think is your thing and just completely flip it on its head. Um, the concept of sensory processing disorder much like ADD, a ADHD executive function disorder. Not a lot is known. And so bringing, I, I'm assuming one of the reasons you wrote the book was to bring awareness to sensory process. Absolut, what are you finding, um, when you tell people about it, what percentage would you say understand, oh yeah, of course. I've heard of that. Or, or, you know, is it, I mean, are you, are you, is it a constant battle with the teachers? Is it, how, how, how are you finding that to be?
[00:06:14] Melissa: It's becoming a much more wide spread. Um, you know, thing that people are aware of right now, but I think really the book shares this Panda's experience as being a highly sensitive, um, individual and what she goes through. And I think people are really relating to her experience more than they may have known or been aware of a diagnosis or a condition, um, called sensory processing disorder. So that's really been beneficial to me. Um, so yeah, I would say. I, I don't know. It's a smaller percentage than I would like for people to be aware of because it is a very real condition and you know, a very intense experience for those who go through it.
[00:06:57] Peter: How did you discover that your, how did you get your d daughter diagnosed? What was, what was sort of the key takeaways that, that made you say, Hey, we should look into this?
[00:07:06] Melissa: So she was in, so she's a twin. I'll start with that. So, um, I was constantly seeing her right next to her twin sister, and, you know, all kids are different obviously. So she was having a very different experience as a baby, a child than her twin sister was. So I think that helped make it more apparent to me that she was going through something and she was in an obvious discomfort and, um, just kind of unsettled a lot of the time. And, you know, I knew there wasn't anything medical going on with her because she, she was doing okay medically, we were bringing her to the pediatrician. Everything was fine, but I could just tell that she was uncomfortable. And my son at the time was in occupational therapy for a different issue that was going on. Um, and so I brought Skylar when she was one years old to this pediatric occupational therapist. Who I've come to know and trust and had her assessor and right away she said, this is something sensory going on. And to be honest, I was a doubter at first. Um, I didn't really know very much about sensory processing disorder or sensory sensitivity or any of that. And, um, I can tell you later that I've come to realize that I actually have a lot of sensory challenges myself, which I've learned through my daughter. So anyway, this pediatric, uh, occupational therapist evaluated her and right away she knew it was something sensory. Um, I watched the evaluation and I was like, you know, I don't know. I'm not really seeing it because she was, um, exposing to her to certain sensory, tactile, um, you know, things like sand and foam and, you know, different manipulatives that she could touch, and I thought she was fine. I'm like, you know, I see her getting her hands messy. But all along there were these little cues that were going on that she was able to pick up on. So just for one example, she showed me that while Skylar was, you know, digging into these Orbis, which are these like liquidy beads that children can play with, she was actually salivating and had like, Drool coming out of her mouth while she was doing it because her sensory system was just so overloaded, um, that while she was willing to do it, her system actually couldn't handle it. So that's just one example of how, you know, we came to be aware of it and then, you know, all the cues and clues just sort of lined up after that. And occupational therapy has been one of our greatest tools for her so far,
[00:09:22] Peter: I'm sure. How old is she now?
[00:09:24] Melissa: She's almost five. Okay.
[00:09:26] Peter: And has she, has she. Do you read the book to her?
[00:09:30] Melissa: Yes. Yes. I, all my children have read the book and they love it. And my other two children wanna know when theirs are coming out and they are in the works. ,
[00:09:39] Peter: One of the things that I've discovered, um, uh, about sort of, ADD & ADHD when you're talking to kids about it, and so I'm assuming the same thing is, is truly is, it's all about how it's framed When I was growing. Um, you know, a ADD didn't exist. What existed was sit down, you disrupt in the class disease. And, and so I, kids our age, um, if they eventually got diagnosed had also had to overcome the stigma of 30, 40 years of being told they're broken. are you seeing with kids your daughter's age because of advances in research? Advances in, uh, awareness? They're not going through the whole concept of you're broken, they're not gonna have to heal from that. They can start looking at what they have as, you know, a difference as opposed to being broken.
[00:10:36] Melissa: Yeah, I really hope that's the case, and I agree with what you said. Um, and one of the purposes of this book is to frame heighten sensitivity or. Sensory challenges as a gift. And I know that that's something that you like to speak about, um, in terms of adhd and I absolutely agree with that. Um, so in terms of heightened sensitivity, you know, yes, it can present struggles and challenges, but it can also be your greatest gift. It can be, you know, the way you use your imagination and can be creative the way you are compassionate and empathetic and can show love. So it can really be a strength. And that's one of the things that I'm hoping to share with children who may feel like Skylar, um, as term in terms of their sensitivity,
[00:11:18] Peter: What's been the reaction or the, what's been the feedback to the book or the reaction to the book, um, outside of your family?
[00:11:25] Melissa: Oh, it's been wonderful. I've been hearing from so many families saying, you know, we have a little picky at home. Um, you know, my daughter like, wants to read it every day. She feels like Pickalina so it, that's been the best part of this. When I set out to become an author, I just wanted to use my words to make children and families happy and, you know, provide them with a good bedtime story. I actually didn't have these higher goals of, you know, bringing such awareness. and acceptance to children with differences, but like that has become the greatest gift. And the thing that I'm most proud of and most excited about in my journey so far.
[00:12:01] Peter: Is the book being used, um, as sort of a way to explain to your daughter's, classmates about the different, because I imagine that much like ad although ADHD manifests in different ways, I imagine that sensory processing disorder must manifest itself in some ways that would make the kids go, what the heck's that all about?
[00:12:20] Melissa: Absolutely. So there's a page in the book where Picky the Panda um, has become so overwhelmed that she's feeling dysregulated and she's hiding under the table in her classroom, and she is rocking and crying because she is so overwhelmed and her body feels such big feelings. And the students. Who are her animal friends gather around her and they yell Picky. It's ok because you know, they're just trying to be kind and they're like, come outta the table, everything's great. But for her, everything's not great at that moment. So that, you know, that doesn't work for Picky and it takes different strategies to get her to be able to recharge and calm her body down. So I think, you know, empathy and understanding and realizing that we are all different is definitely one of the biggest messages. So, yes, to make children, um, and classmates who encounter kids like Skyler or who have other differences to be accepting and empathetic.
[00:13:12] Peter: I like the concept of supercharged senses in the book because, you know, adhd, I consider it a superpower and I try to frame it as a superpower. So the concept of supercharged senses sort of seems very similar in the respect that you just have to, you know, if, if when I talk about adhd, I talk about the fact that. You know, most people are given Honda Accords for brains and we're given Lamborghini's, and so that's great, but you have to learn how to drive it, or you're gonna crash into a tree. You know, anyone could drive a Honda. You need training to drive a Lamborghini. And so I'm assuming it's the same premise with supercharged senses. I really love that term.
[00:13:46] Melissa: Yeah, thank you. And absolutely, I agree with that. Something we have to learn to adapt to and adjust to. But like I said, it, and like you always say, um, it can really be seen as one of our biggest gifts. Very cool. So my daughter can, she's, you know, the first one to smell something stinky or she can see something a mile away. She can hear that train coming, you know, 10 stops away. So, you know, she really does have supercharged senses, but it also can lead her to feel very overwhelmed and heightened at certain times.
[00:14:15] Peter: Very cool. How can, so I'm assuming, yeah, it's available on Amazon, it's available everywhere. Um, how can people connect with you? Are you on Instagram? Are you on Facebook?
[00:14:24] Melissa: Yes. So I am on Instagram at Melissa Finkelstein books. Um, and that is a great place to follow me. I'll have information about Picky the Panda um, sensory processing awareness and about my forthcoming books, um, the next of which will be out in early 2023.
[00:14:42] Peter: Very, very cool. Melissa, thank you so much for taking time to be on Fast Than Normal today. I really, really appreciate it.
[00:14:47] Melissa: Thank you so much. It's been wonderful.
[00:14:49] Peter: Awesome guys. Check out the book. It is a lot of fun. Picky, I love, I love, I love the title Picky, the Panda and the Tickly Tale, talking about sensory processing disorder as supercharged senses. I love it. We back next week with another interview. This is Faster Than Normal. God, talk.. I mean fast- talk about fast, right? The entire year it's, it's almost Thanksgiving here next week in New York, it's gonna be Thanksgiving and I have absolutely no idea how that happened. And it's Christmas and it's New Year's and yeah, it's essentially summer already next year. So I dunno how we got there. But we will see you next week with another interview. Thank you so much for listening. Remember that neurodiversity is a gift, not a curse. And we are all on this train together. Talk to you guys soon. Stay tuned.
Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!
Hey guys! Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows’ Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/ DISCOUNT CODE: SMFriends22
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Marc believes that finding your Vision and Purpose are the key to finding success, happiness, and fulfillment. Harvard-educated, he left a lucrative tech career for art school, founded the long-running online gallery Every Day Original, and has been mentoring and coaching creatives for over a decade. He now Coaches a wide variety of clients and helps them access their own creativity to fuel their next steps. He is now getting his Coaching certification and working one-on-one, in groups, and in his free online workshops to help people create a bigger vision for their life and career through Purpose-driven breakthroughs. He shares many of the how’s and why’s with us here today, enjoy!
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In this episode Peter and Marc discuss:
01:20 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!
01:39 - Intro and welcome Marc Scheff!
02:40 - Why did you give up a lucrative career in Technology to pursue a career in Art?
03:51 - So where did you study; how did it go?
05:10 - Why do you want to help people and how did you land on “vision and purpose”?
08:06 - Is it really as easy as “find what you love doing and the money will come eventually?”
09:37 - Freedom in work, can feel completely overwhelming
10:20 - How can people find more about you? Web: www.MarcScheffCoaching.com (or via www.CreativeAccelerationCoaching.com) and https://www.marcscheff.com
Socials: @MarcScheff on Twitter INSTA and LinkedIN
12:02 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!
12:16 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits
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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:
Hey guys. Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows’ Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/
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[00:01:26] Peter: Hey everyone. My name is Peter Shankman. This is Faster Than Normal. You knew that though, cuz you're probably subscribed to this podcast and it doesn't really make sense for me to keep saying that, but I do it on every episode cuz maybe there'll be someone new today. Anyway, good to have you back for another week. Uh, we are going to start today's podcast with an interesting guest who believes that vision, finding your vision and finding your purpose are the key to finding success, happiness, and fulfillment. I wouldn't argue with that per se. He was Harvard educated and he left a lucrative tech for art school, unlike other famous people who have gone to art school, though he did not commit to, uh, doing bad things, he found the long running online gallery every day, original, and has been mentoring and coaching creatives for over a decade. I love that he focuses on creatives. He uses creativity to fuel their next steps. He's now getting his coaching certificate and working one-on-one groups and his free online workshops to help people create bigger vision for their lives and career through purpose driven bake, uh, purpose driven ba. Well, my God, what is going on?
[00:02:24] Marc: You're going faster than normal Peter!
[00:02:26] Peter: breakthroughs!! Geezus! Okay, that being said, say hi to Mark Scheff! Hi, Marc. Welcome!
[00:02:31] Marc: Thanks, Peter. Great to be here.
[00:02:33] Peter: Never interview someone. Friday at 5:00 PM this is what happened ! Nice to talk to you, so. What made you leave for, for Art school of all things. You just had this, this love and this passion for art, and you're like, Screw it. I'm leaving Tech.
[00:02:49] Marc: Well, I mean, I always loved art. Like, like probably every artist says, but, you know, um, you know, I had a, I I grew up in a sort of, I don't know what you wanna call, is sort of traditional, uh, productive, focused household and, uh, certainly not one that understood to things like ADHD and a, um, you know, so when I went to Harvard, you have to pick your major in your first year. And I thought, well, I'll pick something that'll make me money. Cuz you certainly can't have a career as an artist. That's crazy, right? Um, so I, I studied computer science and I went and I got a job and I, and I said, Okay, I'm gonna take the art classes that I said I was gonna take and I realized, Oh, I, I really like this. This is really great. Um, so I started taking more art classes and more art classes. And my manager at one point, this woman Amy, who I, I sent a thank you note recently, um, took me aside one day and kind of offered me a chance to be, it's funny, offered me a chance to be a part of some secret upcoming layoffs. And I took it and I took a little severance and I put a down payment on my art, uh, my Art degree.
[00:03:44] Peter: Wow. Wow. That's a, it's, it's always fascinating how those things happen because that's exactly how it always happens, right? It's always something out of the blue and random. Yeah. So where did you study? Where'd you study art?
[00:03:54] Marc: I studied art at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. That's where I was listening and working in tech. Yep. Um, I had a, I studied illustration there. Um, I got my degree in the early 2000. Um, and you know, from there, and, and, and this is probably not unusual for your guests, I went on to do all kinds of things. I was a staff artist, I was a creative director, uh, you know, almost a founder of a startup. I, you know, I ran teams. I, I was on teams. I did a little bit of everything before moving to New York where I did a lot more, where I sort of discovered freelance and started doing more freelance stuff. And that's when I started really getting into kind of coaching and mentoring Artists. Cuz I was learning so much and I think, I think I read your book, um, which by the way, everyone should absolutely go read this book. It's, it, it, and you didn't pay me to say that. It's, it really was wonderful . I, uh, I got it and I, I actually listened to it and then I bought a copy and gave it to my wife and said, You have to read chapter six if you read nothing else. Um, you know, and, and so I, you know, when I go and I learn things, I, I get very excited about what I've learned and I wanna kind of pass it on. And that's essentially how I got into all this.
[00:05:00] Peter: Very cool. Tell us about, So a lot of our guests come to me, you know, they say, I can't find my passion. I have no idea what my vision is. I have no idea what my purpose is. What am I supposed to be doing? You know, they're, they're 30, they're 40, and they're like, you know, I've just been cruising along and I don't know if it's the right thing. So you seem to have it down where, you know, if, if you say believe, finding your vision and purpose like you to find success, you must have a way to help people do that.
[00:05:19] Marc: I have a few ways, uh, . That's true.
[00:05:22] Peter: Well, let's chat about that. Why, why, why vision and success versus anything else?
[00:05:26] Marc: Um, well, vision and purpose. I, you know, vision and purpose, right? . I've been working, I've been working with this concept of purpose from way back in San Francisco when I started going to a, a weekly men's circle. And the purpose of the men's circle was to support men in living their purpose. Now, this wasn't some sort. You know, secret cabal. This was, this was really us all pushing each other to sort of bring our gifts to the world. And the way that we did that was we, we really worked hard to discover purpose, which we often boiled down to one or two words. What I've found, and in fact, I met with a client today who said, you know, who told me the, the work that we did, the work that we did, on discovering vision and purpose made all those other decisions that she was struggling with easier. Um, and as someone, you know, has someone who also manages, you know, ADHD or works with ADHD, you know, we have all these ideas. We have. We are like you say, faster than normal. Um, and sometimes it's like, it's like too much and it can feel overwhelming. So what vision and purpose does is it gets you down to really like the core of what you're doing on this earth in this lifetime. And when you're looking at, you know, literally what you should have for dinner, it can make that decision easier. Cuz you say, well, I'm the person. So, for example, my purpose currently is to unleash creativity. It's what I do in my coaching, whether they're an artist or a non-artist. I, I work with people to get creative around their, the solutions to, to their life. And so, uh, the, the way that. The way that I, the way that I work with people on that is I use various tools. I use various tools that, that probably a lot of different coaches know, but I focus in on that level of thinking because then when you come to these other decisions, you say, Well, what if my vision is this and my purpose is this? Am I really like a pizza guy or, or a fried chicken guy? I mean, it's not always that easy, but, but it can be
[00:07:11] Peter: Very, very cool. You know, it's interesting, the, the concept of purpose is something I don't think people are taught right there. There's, there's, and I, I've talked to teachers about this because, you know, there's this premise of you go to school and you learn what you're supposed to learn, which is never the right thing. You don't learn how to bounce a checkbook or, you know, how to do taxes, you know, But, but, and they always, they always, there's that one joke where the, the guidance counselor says to you, you know, figure out you'd wanna do for free. And that's what you should do for a. Like what you'd love to do. That's what you should do for, you know, what you, what you wanna do, what you love. And it never seems to work out. I,
[00:07:41] Marc: I was, I have some, I have some issues with that.
[00:07:43] Peter: can't tell you how many things I was supposed to be doing. Uh, you know, but I think that, that, that for kids coming outta school, they don't necessarily know. They've seen, especially kids today, they've, they've, they've watched, you know, uh, kids that of nowhere make millions on TikTok and, and, and create, you know, and they're confused. Cause they know, in reality it's, it's very, very difficult to do that, but, Right. You know, they also haven't been told anything else. Right. Right. And they don't know what their purpose is. And I don't necessarily know, you're supposed to know what your purpose is in your twenties, but it, it does become that question of at what point should you say, Here's what I love to do, here's what I wanna do, here's how I wanna change the world.
[00:08:16] Marc: Yeah. I mean, I think it is different for everybody. Um, you know, I have worked with people who have discovered that they actually wanna be doing something else for their work or something else with their free time or, or, or whatever. Um, I do think. And I'm in my mid forties. Um, and I do see a lot of people around this age starting to struggle with this question cuz we're, you know, if, if it's midlife, we're supposedly sort of halfway there and you start to think about, okay, well at some point I'm leaving. What do I want my legacy to be? And that's when I think a lot of people start thinking about purpose. I mean, some people come to it much, much earlier, but I have two, I have two kids, one's seven, one's 12. And you know, they don't , they don't grapple with that, you know, at all. So it's, it's quite. Thing to be dealing with at, I think at that, at that particular age. But at some point, like I said, you know, you, you know, you, you, you go so far and we don't live in a wor like, you know, my dad's generation and my dad included, you know, he, he, he's a doctor. He got a job. Somewhere, and he stayed in that job. You know, he maybe had a couple of jobs over the course of his career and did different things, but he was always focused on that, that sort of purpose, which, whether or not that was his core purpose, that's what he chose and that's what he stuck to. We now live in a world with the internet, with, you know, you can do, you know, you can do anything and be doing TikTok and Instagram and, you know, skydiving, uh, for example, um, as, as a, as a random example. Um, you know, and so we, we have all this freedom, which can be completely overwhelming. And that's where I think a lot of folks, at least in the communities where I work, we were start thinking about, okay, well if we can boil this down to something that is core to ourselves, and this is what I do in my workshops, it's what I do in my one-on-one coaching. It's what I'll be doing in my group coaching because I really, I, I've seen it over and it's not just a belief I've seen. The proof is is there, I've seen people and the people who do the work and, you know, do the writing and, and come and, and come up with something that is their purpose, that is their vision. They come back, you know, just really lit up and they say, I, I, I found focus, I found happiness. I'm like, you know, I'm like, I'm like dancing when I get up in the morning and I'm, you know, I didn't do that for them. They did it, but I, but I provide these, you know, these various frameworks for them to think through these.
[00:10:20] Peter: No, I mean, it makes sense. Tell us, tell people how we can find you. You know how, if they want to, if they, if they like what they're hearing, they say, Hey, this is something I'd like!
[Web: www.MarcScheffCoaching.com (or via www.CreativeAccelerationCoaching.com) and https://www.marcscheff.com Socials: @MarcScheff on Twitter INSTA and LinkedIN ]
[00:10:28] Marc: Um, well, you can find me. Uh, I'm, I'm on the internet in most places as my name Marc Scheff . Um, I, I am also an artist, so if you can find, you know, you can find my portfolio at Marc Scheff , but my Marc Scheff coaching is my coaching website. If you can't remember. Spell my name. You can just go to Creative Acceleration Coaching. And that just goes to my website. And there's, um, there's an opportunity there for a free coaching session. I, I like to do these free coaching sessions, um, because it's actually a filter for them and for me, Uh, if someone, first of all doesn't take the step to book the, the, the appointment, then you know, that's probably a good sign that, that they're not gonna, they're not gonna do the work. Uh, but also when we meet, I actually, what I do is I just coach people for. 30 or 45 minutes and give them kind of an overview of some of the different tools that I use. So I've had people walk out of that and say things like, you know, there's, you know, I, I got, I got great value out of that 30 or 40 minutes, and now I wanna know more. If, you know, if they walk away and it sort of fizzles out for them, then, then that's, you know, that's okay too. But it's a great way for people to, you know, I don't, I don't push sales. I don't, you know, at the end of the call I'm not like, Okay, you can commit now and there's a special deal and all this stuff.
[00:11:31] Peter: Right, right, right.
[00:11:31] Marc: Yeah, I don't do any of that stuff cuz I really, in fact, I've had people say, Send me a PayPal. I say, actually I want you to, if you, if you want, if you write me an email in a week and still want it, then I'll do it. Exactly. Cause I want you to really like see if this lasts for you. If you're really still making progress on the work that you did in that 30 minutes, then we should totally, we should totally keep going. Cause there, cuz you're, I love that. Yeah. There's a connection.
[00:11:53] Peter: I love that. Yeah. Very cool. Marc, thank you so much for taking the time. I really appreciate it, that it's really kind of you.
[00:11:58] Marc: Thanks for having me. Big fan of your work and just really glad to be here. Thank you.
[00:12:02] Peter: Awesome. We'll definitely have you back. Guys as always Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We wanna know what you wanna hear. Shoot us an email. If you have any guests you think would work for us, peter@shankman.com, let me know. We'd love to get 'em on the podcasts. We'll see you next week. ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Stay safe.
Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!