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Finding the Best Lead Domino for Good Productivity Habits in Inattentive ADHD w/ Aron Croft 0

Oct 26, 2022

Hey guys! Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows’ Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/ DISCOUNT CODE: SMFriends22

We’re visiting again today with Aron Croft who’s made some changes since our last visit on Episode 240, “The Un-Squeaky Wheel: How Inattentive ADHD Goes Under the Radar w/ Aron Croft” including developing a new way to help the community; enjoy! In his own words: Aron Croft has always been obsessed with one question: “Why can’t we get ourselves to do tasks that we WANT to do”? That question was on his mind as he dropped out of college twice, failed out of his first 7 jobs and ended up broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage at 33. After an adult diagnosis of Inattentive ADHD and an M.S. in Coaching Psychology, he decided to abandon neurotypical productivity, and his life changed. He built a successful Fortune 500 career followed by a six-figure coaching business with over 125,000 followers. In his coaching business, he teaches ADHD’ers his contrarian 8% Productivity Habit, which helps them complete their top tasks in 2 hours a day and never feel behind again. His work has been featured by ADDitude Magazine, the Attention Deficit Disorder Association, and dozens of top ADHD outlets. To watch a 30 minute training on the 8% Productivity Habit, visit freeadhdtraining.com.

In this episode Peter and Aron discuss:

01:20 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:29 - Intro and welcome back Aron Croft!!

02:40 - Tell us what you've been doing since the last time you were on the show? Ref: 8percent Productivity Habit Method

03:20 - What is living in the country like for someone with a faster brain?

04:12 - Is spending time daily in the out-of-doors helping?

05:25 - How have you grown in this environment within the last couple of years?

07:01 - On embracing ‘measured’ change

08:11 - Aron explains his 8percent Productivity Habit

08:47 - “motivation, willpower, and discipline” These may only be neurotypical confines!

09:23 - There are other ways to win!!

09:53 - How do professional Boxers become so fast?

11:16 - On willpower and habits. Skateboarding can strengthen you!

14:13 - How can people find more about you? Web: hiddenADHD.com ALSO freeadhdtraining.com

Socials: @aroncroft on Twitter @HiddenADHD on Facebook INSTA YouTube and hidden_adhd on TikTok

15:07 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to hear. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

15:30 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits

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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:

Hey guys. Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows’ Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/

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[00:01:23] Peter: Hey everyone. Peter Shankman, another episode of Faster Than Normal. Thrilled to have you here. Welcome aboard. We gotta repeat guest today Aron Croft was here by a year or so ago, and since then he told me that after he, he heard hisself on this episode, he's had to upend his entire life and he moved to a farm. And like, I don't know, I've got 10 acres of land and a chainsaw or something. I'll let him tell you more about that. But Aron Croft has is he was a great guest last time we have him back, and he's always been obsessed with one question, which says, Why can't we get ourselves to do the tasks we wanna do? He dropped outta college twice. He failed his first seven jobs. He ended up broke divorce earning minimum wage, days 33. Then he got diagnosed and then he got an MS in coaching psychology, and he took his neurotypical productivity. His life changed. He built a Fortune 500 career, followed by a six figure coaching business. He teaches ADHD 'ers his contrarian. 8% productivity hat. We'll talk about that. He's at free ADHD training.com and welcome back Aron good to have you, man.

[00:02:21] Aron: Thank you, Peter. This is, this podcast is always the most challenging one for me to be a guest on because it's like, it's so hard to be efficient and, and get everything done that you and I want to talk about in your episode. Cap.

[00:02:37] Peter: All right, so let's let you start it. Tell us about yourself. Tell us what you've been doing since the last time you had you on.

[00:02:42] Aron: Yeah, I mean, pretty much just buying 10 acres in a chainsaw. Uh, that's, that's pretty much it, that's taken up most of the last 12 months. Um, what have I been up to really, uh, formalizing, Um, my 8% productivity habit method. Which is really just about how do we get our top task done in just two hours a day. Like, we're not gonna suddenly become sort of full of motivation, willpower, and discipline. Like we've been trying that our whole lives and how do we do that so that we can just stop feeling behind? And, um, that's really what I've been focused on and working with hundreds of ADHDers and, um, now we're just, you know, expanding it out to more.

[00:03:20] Peter: Very, very cool. And tell me that I wanna, I wanna talk about living in the middle of nowhere or on 10 acres or whatever. What's that like for someone with a faster brain?

[00:03:28] Aron: Uh, it's so delightful because, you know, I can just, my brain is going a mile a minute all the time. It's so exhausting. I would love freedom and a break from it sometimes, but like when I go out, like we've got trails on the property and it's just, we're surrounded by just trees and nature and when I just, when I get outside, Um, it just quiets everything down, um, in nature. And so, yeah. So it's just been, it's been absolutely delightful. Um, and there's also like some mindless tasks like cutting, you know, cutting down branches with a chainsaw on the weekend. Like, I don't need to think. And it's very nice for me to not give myself like, cognitive tasks every once in a while.

[00:04:10] Peter: Yep. Are you enjoying, So is there, is there, would you say you're getting more outdoor time than you used? And and is that helping?

[00:04:20] Aron: I, you know, honestly I'd say that I'm getting about, I'm getting a little bit more outdoor time, Not a ton more, but the outdoor time absolutely helps. Like I, I mean, part of the reason we made the move is cause I was living in downtown Chicago and all I would do to leave the apartment was just go and walk in nature. And there was this cool nature path near us. So I'd say that I'm, I'm only getting a little more time in nature, but the other thing I really like is, um, space. Uh, so like you can't see it cuz it's off camera, but like, I literally commandeered the entire big, like what room would be a family room in our basement. I put up a 16 foot long whiteboard of just wallpaper, that's whiteboard wallpaper. Um, I mean, I've got like a studio set up with camera and lights and a nice microphone, and I've just got my shit everywhere. Like on the pasted it on the walls, the post it notes galore! I just love the ability to spread out and try to untangle this like super messy brain.

[00:05:21] Peter: Very cool. And what would you tell people that you've learned? How have you grown in the past couple years?

[00:05:27] Aron: I'd say, I'd say two things. So, um, one is just this idea of like, stop, like, like I, I, I've given up trying to be neurotypical. Um, and you know, that might sound obvious, but I work with a lot of ADHDers and they're still trying to be like what their parents and their peers and their teachers told them to be. And so one is just the freedom to give that up, um, and all the like self-compassion and acceptance that comes with it. And then on the flip side of that, right, and you know this in business, right? Is once I gave that up, um, And I was like, You know what? I'm not gonna be like, So you and I are a little bit different. Like I, I just have the inattentive ADHD symptoms. I wish I had some of the hyperactivity energy stuff, but like, like, I'm like a delicate flower. I burn out after like a few hours of like, I. Of like thinking work. And so I was like, Okay, instead of just saying that, that's like a weakness. How can I just build a productivity system around, around that? And um, so just doing those things and kind of embracing my limitations, quote unquote, has like, turned me into way more powerful than I've ever been.

[00:06:43] Peter: It sounds like it might have. Um, It's interesting. I, I know a lot of people with adhd, they, they change is difficult; , Right? They get into a routine, they get into a habit, and then change becomes sort of a, a, a fear, right? You embrace it.

[00:07:01] Aron: Um, I embrace, I embrace measured change. Okay. Um, because Right. It's, that's important. That's an important distinction. It is. Right. But like, but it, it's like so many things we don't realize that we're actually trying to. For two variables. And we're really looking for balance, right? We want, we want no change, but we also want lots of novelty and variety, right? And so we're, we're kind of, we kind of need to find that right balance. You know, I find so many people with their, uh, Productivity. They're like, I wanna get all my top tasks done. But I also don't wanna be forced into like Right. Having to do it. And I wanna like feel like doing them. Like I don't want it to be painful. And it's sort of like, okay, like if we can make explicit those like trade offs that we're trying to make, we can find a solution. That's the, that sounded theoretical. I feel like I'm just dabbling. Sorry, Peter.

[00:07:53] Peter: No, no, it makes sense. So with that, tell me about the, uh, the 8% productivity habit.

[00:07:58] Aron: Yeah, I know cuz clearly I'm obsessed with it. But , uh, I'm excited to have somebody to talk to about it that isn't my wife. Well, she's excited that I have someone you know today to talk to about it. Um, yeah, I mean, so it was really just, This concept. So the 8% is simply that like 8% of a 24 hour day is two hours. And I was like, All right. If I could just build a productivity habit, that meant that I could get away basically with just doing hard tasks for two hours a day, and then the rest of the day I can kind of just slack off and like wing it. Um, like if I could build something that would be effective, man, that would just give me so much freedom. And, um, so I tried to build it, and then the first phase of it is abandon neurotypical productivity. So all of us have been raised on this like diet of motivation, willpower, and discipline. And like you, Whoever wins is the one who wants it the most. And that's fine if your motivation pathways and willpower pathways work, you know, neurotypically. But for us, or at least for the inattentive, ADHD symptoms that I tend to work with with my students, um, it doesn't translate to action. And so we're left with, we're left with this really unfair conundrum. We either don't take action. Or we have a secret sauce, which helps us take action, which is we just flood ourselves with adrenaline, stress and anxiety, and suddenly we can do a bunch of hard tasks. Right? But it's like so mentally and physically and emotionally training,

[00:09:33] Peter: I believe that. It's interesting because it puts us back into that premise of imposters, right? If we're trying to do things in sort of like that one way that's supposed to be done right? You know, like what you said about, about going out and, and, and you know, the person who wins, the person wants the most, there are other ways to win .

[00:09:55] Aron: Amen. My brother. Thank you.

[00:09:56] Peter: You know, I, I, I find that, Well, even this morning I was, I was in a boxing class and I was training. It was one trainer who was training two of us, and we'd each do drills, uh, alternate on drills. And I was watching him, you know, so like 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off. And on my 30 seconds off, I'm supposed to be shadow boxing. And of course I wound up watching this guy. This guy is about. 10 years more experienced boxing than I do. And his punches were so fast, like, so fast, and, and it was like a blur. And I'm just staring at him. And of course the trainer's like, Yo, you wanna actually do something or you wanna just watch? I'm like, Okay, yeah, sorry, but I need to figure out how he got that fast. And he goes, he's trained, He's constantly repeating the motion and doing it over and over again and building those muscles and growing and. You know, so I, I hear what you're saying. It's, it's in that, in that regard. I'm sure he does want it, but I'm sure he is also lost a ton of fights. He doesn't want it the most, he's just doing it every day because it's something that makes him happy and excites him, and he is also getting better at it by default.

[00:10:55] Aron: I love, I love that you said that because, um, so like, because I. And just, I'm, I'm just like on like, honestly, like, I'm literally like the most like unproductive person at my core. Um, and I just have like almost no motivational, willpower discipline. So the work around though is kind of, is what you were saying though, that I discovered. It was like, if I just build something in a habit, then it kind of happens without really any motivational will power discipline. Right. And so, It's been this like side door to like sneak into like productivity, uh, without kind of the traditional things is it sounds like you've got some, uh, interest in habits as well.

[00:11:42] Peter: Well, I've always found that, you know, I always, because for ADHD I would always gravitate back in school. I always gravitated toward the things I doing because I enjoyed doing them and I. Specifically, One time I got off, I, I was up, I would always ride my bike, and then one time, one year I get into skateboarding, right? And I, I would skateboard, skateboard, skateboard for like a year and a half, two years, everywhere. I went to skateboard. Skateboard. And then one day case got back on my bike. And I was shocked at how much stronger my legs were. It wasn't that I'd been working out my legs, it's that I'd been skateboarding, I was working out my legs, but it didn't occur to me as that, Right. The things that you love to do are the things you naturally get better at because you're doing 'em so much because you love them. The the downside for ADHD is sometimes you have to do things you don't love and you still have to do them.

[00:12:27] Aron: Well, and so the, the upside, so I agree with you and the upside is, um, so look, I believe, and, and again, all with the caveat that a lot of the things I'm talking about are limited to people that have the inattentive symptoms or combined adhd, Right? Um, but. You know, the cool part is that I believe so many people, and this is entrepreneurs, this is working professionals I've talked to, like, we're looking for something that would have like the biggest bang for our buck. Um, kind of like on the entrepreneur where they're like, I don't want to just trade dollars for hours. Like, Right, or hours for dollars. Like, I want something that's scalable and like, I want, I want like leverage effectively is what? You know, working professionals and stuff are saying. And um, the cool part is that I found is. A lot of productivity stuff focuses on like overhauling your life, right? Like you're gonna write down all your to-do lists and write down goals in every area, and then you're gonna time box your schedule and you know you're gonna do all these things. You're gonna make this color coded thing. And the reality is that there's a lead domino in there, which is if you just push this one piece, all these other productivity things fit, which is the piece that you just mentioned, which is. We don't suck at all productivity. We're great at like fire alarm tasks.

Exactly. We're even decent at like busy tasks. And the reason we're decent at them is because the area that we suck and that if we improve is the lead domino that knocks all the other dominoes down is in doing tough tasks. And if we can get, build a habit of doing tough tasks every day, suddenly they don't feel tough and our comfort zone expands.

[00:14:13] Peter: Yep, a hundred percent. Tell us how we could find you.

[00:14:17] Aron: Well, you could just drive out to Michigan and look for a house.

[00:14:22] Peter: Quit being a smart ass Aron, how can we find you? . [14:13 - How can people find more about you? Web: hiddenADHD.com ALSO freeadhdtraining.com

Socials: @aroncroft on Twitter @HiddenADHD on Facebook INSTA YouTube and hidden_adhd on TikTok

]

[00:14:24] Aron: All right. Alright. Um, I would say, I would say just go to free adhd training.com. I literally was like, How could I come up with the easiest to remember URL in the history of URLs? Not that help a reporter out.com isn't also memorable . But anyway, free adhd training.com and uh, I go into like a full training. It's free on the 8% productivity habit, what it is, how you can do it, um, and really break it all down with like pretty graphics and all the, my pretty bald head and all these fun things.

[00:14:57] Peter: Always love having you, Aron bald head and all. It was a pleasure. Enjoy your home, enjoy your 10 acres and your, your chainsaw. We'll have you back again.

[00:15:06] Aron: All right, brother. Appreciate it!

[00:15:07] Peter: Guys, as always, we wanna know what you're hearing and we wanna know what you're seeing. If you have a guest that you think might be great, shoot us a note. Peter@shankman.com. Let us know, Tweet us, post us, Facebook us, whatever. If you like what you heard, leave us review. Thanks to Steven Byrom @stevenbyrom our awesome producer. We'll back next week, another episode. Stay healthy, stay strait on keep going on the path that is yours, and yours alone, and we'll talk to you. Bye

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!

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Please Mind Your Meds w/ Scientist Miss America Camille Schrier, H.R.S. 0

Oct 19, 2022

Currently pursuing a Doctor of Pharmacy degree at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Camille completed dual Bachelor of Science degrees in Biochemistry and Systems Biology with honors at Virginia Tech in 2018. Breaking from tradition, Camille blew up the onstage talent competition with a highly engaging and entertaining version of the “catalytic decomposition of hydrogen peroxide,” winning Miss Virginia in June of 2019 and then Miss America in December 2019 live on NBC. While competing for the job, Camille Schrier wanted it known that “Miss America can be a scientist and a scientist can be Miss America.” Through her time as Miss America and beyond, Camille has focused on advocating for her social initiative “Mind Your Meds: Drug Safety and Abuse Prevention from Pediatrics to Geriatrics” with a major focus on the opioid epidemic, as well as for exciting youth in the areas of STEM. In 2021 Camille launched her own science educational brand, “Her Royal Scientist,” which furthers her goal to inspire and educate youth and normalize females in science roles. She also works to raise awareness around Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a genetic condition that impacts her life each day. Today’s episode is important to literally anyone who has ever been given a prescription. Enjoy!

In this episode Peter and Camille discuss:

01:26 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

02:14 - Intro and welcome Camille Schrier!

03:30 - Ref: Margaret Hamilton’s Apollo code

03:54 - Women in STEM [Science Technology Engineering Math/Medicine]

04:56 - On Imposter Syndrome and growing up in public education without many neurodiverse role models

05:47 - On a non “A+B+C= ‘this or that’” approach to goal-setting and systemic education

06:40 - There is no one ‘right way’ for everyone to do something. We are unique.

07:00 - How did you wind-up winning Miss America, was it a goal? A note on risk taking

09:17 - How did your initiative “Mind Your Meds” come about and get started?

11:00 - Eyes open about medication use in the collegiate community Ref: Safe-RX

13:53 - So much about prescription drugs has become perception, not actual awareness of what they may, and may not do!

15:40 - Adderall and co-morbidities

16:00 - Talk to your peers and kids, not everyone reacts the same!

18:00 - In the neurodiverse community we are even more at risk of addiction, if not misuse.

19:04 - How can people find more about you? Web: www.CamilleSchrier.com

Socials: @CamilleSchrier everywhere. Twitter INSTA FB YouTube LinkedIN

19:20 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to hear. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

19:40 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits

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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:

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[00:01:26] Peter: Hey guys. Peter Shankman here. Welcome to another episode of Faster Than Normal, it is a thrill to have you as always. It is another Monday when I do all my FTN interviews for the month. We are talking to Camille Schrier today, and I will tell you a little bit about her in a second. Uh, as you heard from the ad, there is a conference coming up on November 11th. I would love to see you there. Um, there should be a discount code in the uh, show notes, use it. You'll get a hundred bucks off and hear from 12 amazing speakers and me, so if you haven't had enough, there's even me. So that'll be fun. November 11th, virtually wherever you are in the world. All right, cool. It is Monday. It is gray and yucky outside, but that's cool cause we're talking to a ray of, of sunshine and light today. Camille Schrier is currently pursuing a doctor of pharmacy degree at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. She completed a dual Bachelor of Science degrees in Biochemistry and Systems biology with Honors of Virginia Tech in 2018. Oh, and she was Miss America in December, 2019. Uh, so yeah, there's that. She won Miss Virginia and June, 2019. Miss America, in December of 2019. You've probably seen her on YouTube where her, on stage talent competition was an entertaining version of the catalytic decomposition of hydrogen peroxide. Very, very cool stuff. I actually had seen that on YouTube before she came to my attention. Uh, it is wonderful to have you here, Camille. Thanks for so much for taking the time today.

[00:02:52] Camille: Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for having me and making me sound way cooler than I really am in real life.

[00:02:58] Peter: So, you know, you sort of broke the mold in that regard. You, you, you came up and, and you said, Okay, I'm gonna show the world that girls can be scientists, right? That, that women can do these things and it doesn't, You can mix and match. It doesn't have to be one or the other. I always look back at. Amazing photo from NASA where I was, when I was serving on the NASA Civilian Advisory Council. They sent me this, they showed me this photo. They have framed, it's the woman who wrote the majority of the code for, uh, the Apollo 11 landing. And, um, she's standing on a, uh, next to a stack of code that's literally like taller than her, right? And, and it was just, You know, you never Yeah. A woman did that. And, and I love as a, as a father of a nine year old daughter, I love that, you know, I'm talking to you and I'm gonna have my daughter, Jessa listen to this podcast because you're showing girls, um, my daughter's age and beyond that there is so much they can do. There's nothing they can't do, and, and you're doing it a lot better than me, as her dad ever could. .

[00:03:54] Camille: Well, thank you. And I think even more than that, I mean, we know that women can be scientists. There's probably more women than ever Yeah. In STEM careers. But I think one of the things that I have realized as I've progressed through my own career is that it's not always normal to see a very feminine woman, exactly. In the sciences, and maybe women feel like they have to conform to kind of be like their male counterparts or maybe are afraid to express their femininity in a lot of those fields. And so bringing the science into something that is traditionally a feminine role like Miss America was a really interesting way to break that mold open even more, and show people that you can do whatever you want. And I think that's something that even defies gender is just embracing who you are and doing it on purpose and being fearless in every single thing that you do. And so hopefully it inspired, um, young girls, young men and beyond.

[00:04:54] Peter: Well, it's interesting you bring that up because one of the things about ADHD is imposter syndrome and, and this concept that, You know, you are consistently broken and no matter what you've done, it's all been luck and you don't really have the skill to do anything. And I grew up with that, um, uh, through no fault of anyone but my own. I mean, you know, my parents were, were constantly supportive. But, you know, I grew up in an environment, in a school system, uh, public school system, which was, you know, you're different. And so you're being, you're being, uh, uh, uh, you're disobeying and, and you're, you're breaking the rules and you gotta be like everyone else. And it took me probably till. You know, late thirties, uh, to, to sort of get over that. And I think that, that, um, the more role models we have who can show that there is no one way to do anything right, I think is, is better for the world as a whole. And I see that, I see that, uh, you know, with, with what you've done. I see that more and more today, which gives me a little bit of hope.

[00:05:47] Camille: I think we do need that because we're, we're taught to follow directions. Yeah. Right. And that's what we're seeing at, That's how we are shown success is, is you do these certain things and you get success. If you go through a certain amount of education, if you do these leadership activities and get extracurriculars and get a certain gpa, then you get X, Y, or z. And I think that often as young people working on this formula, that's not necessarily allowing us to embrace what makes us unique. Sometimes we can do that in that situation, but it's often really hard. And I've struggled because I want to do things the right way, but there is no right way to do things. I've always been really focused on doing things, um, at the most, at the highest level of achievement and success and getting to a certain level. Um, but I've forgotten a lot about what I want in that, and I think imposter syndrome is so real in what I have experienced. My becoming Miss America wasn't a longtime goal. I literally signed up for a competition that was two weeks away that went to Miss Virginia. And I was like, This will be fun. Let's do it. . And I won. And then eight weeks later I won Miss Virginia and six months later I won Miss America. And I was like, how did I end up here? Right? And did I deserve this? How? How did I. How did I successfully make my way through this in doing something that was totally different than anyone else had done before, but actually winning Miss America by doing something vastly different than anyone else had done was the best reward in taking a risk and doing something different than I had ever had in my life. Yeah, because I was always afraid to take a risk because what if it goes wrong? Right. But ultimately, if it went wrong, I would just come home as not Miss America. Exactly. So, The odds were pretty good to have a good experience, and it rewarded my creativity and my ability to try something new that then set me on a path to wanna do that more in my professional life.

[00:07:48] Peter: Well, that's one of the things that I try to explain to, uh, people, you know, especially the kids. And, and you know, when they, when they read my book and then, and they, they reach out is, you know, the concept that, that, that being the, the, the worst, the biggest risk it said is not taking one. Right. And, and the concept. you can do something and fail or you cannot do it, and you'll be in the same place if you failed. Yeah. So the only option you have that breaks you out of that is to try it, you know? And I, I love, I love that. Cause I think that that, you know, again, I didn't have that mentality. It was funny. I didn't have the mentality as a kid yet. I was always different. So it was like I was, I was fighting, I was swimming upstream, I was fighting against that. And once I embraced it, You know, the whole world opened up and so I sort of think you're doing that as well.

Um, so Miss America can be a scientist and a scientist can be Miss America. I love that. Tell me about, um, mind your meds. So, you know, when I was growing up and we talked about the offline, when I was growing up, the, uh, the concept of medication for ADHD or anything like that, really. Kids didn't really take meds. Um, they took medication if they were sick, I get, get penicillin, right? Whatever, you know, or Sudafed and I, but it wasn't, I, I grew up, I guess in an earlier time in the eighties we didn't have that. We had cigarettes and um, you know, I once I, and they were healthy back then, so it's fine. But, um, you know, I look at, I look at. Today I have, I have, I have friends who have kids in college and, and they're like, Yeah, the, the kids, the kids pass around, uh, Adderall, like it's candy. And, you know, that's not necessarily a good thing. Um, so talk about Mind Your Meds. Where did it come from, the concept? Uh, how, how'd you get to where it is?

[00:09:16] Camille: Sure there's such a huge problem related to pharmaceuticals and medications in the country. And as a doctor of pharmacy student, I wanted to choose a cause that I would represent as Miss Virginia and Miss America that was something I was passionate about, but also something that I felt like would affect every person that I came across, that would be relevant to every individual in some way. And I feel. All of us have either taken a medication or have known someone who's taken a medication in their lives. We all have kind of lived that or taken even just a over the counter medication at some point. And when I went through my pharmacy education, I started to realize how easy it is to make mistakes, to take things improperly, the dangers of medications that are even over the counter. Let alone things that are prescription or controlled substances, the risks that can come along with those things, and how we can really do things that are very easy to prevent, um, harm and misuse and things that damage our communities essentially. So I wanted to focus on medication safety as one big piece of what I do. But then on the other side, there's also an issue with substance use disorders in this country. With stimulants, with opioids and many other substances, um, both prescription and illicit. And I saw more and more of that as time went on. Now I spend a lot of time talking about the opioid epidemic, which is one that has just drastically increased over the past 20 years for a lot of different reasons, but is really running rampant, uh, in our communities and is, is killing people at a level that I've, I never would've anticipated, but is really sad. So, Looking back at kind of all of the things that I have gotten to do. You mentioned stimulants and when I was growing up, I can't really even remember a lot of my peers taking stimulants for, for diagnoses like adhd. Now I went to school, like elementary school, middle school, in the early two thousands. So a little bit after, but still not that long ago I do feel like as time has gone on, it's become more popular. Right? Um, and. I will say when I got into college was the first time where I really saw medications being misused in my, with my own eyes. And it was always stimulant medications. And I think as someone who's looking at ways, uh, That people can be proactive with medication safety. I feel like if you have a prescription medication, especially controlled substance like a stimulant, you have to be a responsible steward of that sub of that substance. It is your responsibility to take control of that and prevent others from potentially being harmed by that. And so I've actually teamed up with a company called Safe- RX who produces locking pill viles. Mm. And that's just like an easy tool that I can recommend to families to kind of secure these medications, either at home or or students taking them to college. I talk a lot about children accidentally taking medications because they don't know what they are. They think that they're candy, making sure that you are locking up medications, keeping them up and away from children, being a safe steward of medications. These are all things that can not only keep people safe, but prevent misuse, prevent substance use disorders from coming up in our communities. It's all a cycle, and I think that it needs to be talked about more. It's not really an educational topic that I heard a lot about when I was in school and that I still don't really hear a lot about. And so I think, you know, as a pharmacy student, pharmacists have such a unique perspective and role in being a medication safety expert, and that's why I'm excited to be a pharmacist as well.

[00:13:06] Peter: That's a wonderful answer. I remember in the eighties, uh, you'd come home from school at like 3:00 PM and you'd watch like cartoons or whatever, and there was always a really, really bad. Like cringy commercial called pills aren't candy. And I don't know if you, I don't know if you had that in the 2000's by the way. I, I, I died a little bit when you said, you know, I, Yeah, I went to school in the two early two thousands. I just, I'm sorry. Died a little bit . Um, I had, I had someone I was watching, uh, TikTocs with my daughter and, uh, There was one where a woman goes, uh, you know, the, the older generation on TikTok, you know, the ones like born in the late nineties. I'm like, You, we, you're,

[00:13:39] Camille: I've seen that it even made me cringe

[00:13:41] Peter: everyone's app, right? Yeah. I'm deleting off everyone's phone right now, . But um, but yeah, no, I remember the we are not candy thing and, and it's, and it's true. I mean, as a, you know, I had the conversation with my daughter years ago, you know, this is anything in a bottle that looks like this or whatever. You don't, you don't take anything you don't know. You don't take anything. I haven't. Yeah. And, and, um, the interesting, interesting thing about the lock. You know, I wonder if it's, if it's also a peer pressure thing in the respect that, oh, you know, dude, can I, can I score that off you, can I tell, you know, score real, And it's a, kids that I've talked to don't necessarily look at it as medication. They look at it as a, as finals help. You know, there's a difference in, in, in how you look at it.

[00:14:20] Camille: I think that you're absolutely right and that's how I saw it used in students that were trying to stay up all night Yes. And study, and that it was really a commodity instead of a prescription medication that genuinely helps people Yeah. That have disorders like ADHD and is extremely effective in that. Um, I do feel like what you're saying is very true and, and potentially even putting something in a container like a locking pill vile could mentally even make that seem like less of a commodity and something that should be protected. Um, and obviously I don't think there's studies along what that impact might be for students, but I think just looking anecdotally, that would be something that I'm sure that my peers probably would think differently about when I was in college. Uh, instead of just this, Oh, can I get one of these off of you? Which really surprised me, even though I'm a little bit straight edge to begin with. But seeing students talking about in group messages of like, Oh, does anyone have an Adderall? I have an exam tomorrow. Um, Really bothered me to my core because I just felt like it was so wrong. Um, and so risky from a medical perspective as well, because patients and students that have comorbidities who maybe they don't even know that they have yeah, an issue, maybe they have an undiagnosed cardiovascular problem that they don't know about, and taking a medication could, could really be detrimental for them. There's so many things that go into making sure that a medication is right for a patient. But if that, that's why these medications are prescription, because there's a prescriber that's evaluating all these different things. And I really wanna stress if there's parents listening, to have those candid conversations with your students about what the, what the ultimate risks of this medication could be for them and for other people around them and the importance of keeping that to yourself. And the also the importance of not taking anyone else's medications. Especially I have to, to emphasize in the time of fentanyl. Yeah. When we are not sure what is in any pill that we take, we aren't sure that a pill that someone gives us is actually from whatever they say that it's from. It could be a pill that was produced, uh, not in a pharmaceutical manufacturing facility that could be cut with fentanyl and could lead to an overdose. There are so many risks taking any type of medication or any substance from anyone I believe. Playing Russian roulette right now. And so that's a continued conversation outside of just protecting your own prescription, but emphasizing to everyone, students, children, adults, and beyond that we have a huge problem in this country with opioids and with fentanyl that is now coming into other pieces of, of the, um, kind of drug scene maybe in the stimulant sector with, um, methamphetamines and beyond, which is a deadly, a deadly consequence that could happen. And I, I hate to be dramatic and I know that sometimes I sound like a broken record in that, but it's a one decision that you could potentially make that you cannot correct. Right. And that is something that I really emphasize to everyone that I meet because it's, it really. It goes beyond just, Oh, I made a mistake and I'm gonna apologize. And it's unfortunate. So, uh, I do think that it's so important for us to not only be safe stewards, but have those conversations, have candid conversations with people, um, because these medications are also really difficult to get, specifically when we're talking about stimulants, right? And part of those reasons that they're difficult to get is because people misuse them. And so, uh, not contributing to that and making it more difficult for people that need those medications to access them, um, that's not gonna help us.

[00:18:05] Peter: Well, what's interesting about that is, you know, especially, um, when you are neurodiverse, when you're a d d, when you're adhd, studies have shown you have much higher, uh, addiction prevalence, right? And, and so putting yourself deliberately, putting yourself into harm's way in that regard is something kids don't think about in their, you know, late teens, early twenties, and, You know, look down the road 10, 20, 30 years, where do you wanna be? So, there's no question about it. It's really, really cool. Camille, I, I gotta, we gotta cut it off for time, but I would love to have you back at some point. This is wonderful.

[00:18:36] Camille: Oh my gosh. I would love to come back and talk about this. Thank you so much for having, uh, a great conversation about, uh, these issues. And they're so, they're so prevalent and I, it really upsets me that we, we see this growing rather than getting better. But I think having conversations like these are the way that we end.

[00:18:52] Peter: How can we, uh, how can people find you?

[00:18:54] Camille: So you can find me on any social media platform at Camille Schrier my first and last name. Uh, you can also find mr at www.camilleschrier.com. [ www.CamilleSchrier.com @CamilleSchrier everywhere: Twitter INSTA FB YouTube LinkedIN]

[00:19:04] Peter: Awesome. Camille Schrier, thank you so very much for taking the time.

[00:19:07] Camille: Thank you!

[00:19:08] Peter: Guys as always. We'll back next week with another amazing interview. Our thanks to our guest, Camille Schrier our thanks to Steven Byrom who produces this end every episode, and is just an awesome all around human being and I hope you have a wonderful week. We will see you guys soon. Take care.

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Mental Health Content Creator and Health Care Provider Karrisa Cardenas 0

Oct 12, 2022

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Cool interview today with a content creator and health care provider who is recently diagnosed with ADHD, yet survived school without knowing what was going on with her brain! She turned to the internet to let people know that they are not alone, and to be helpful to others! A little more about our guest today in her own words: Karrisa Cardenas is a mental health content creator, Singer songwriter, entrepreneur and the host of her very own podcast called “Finding Your Mind” and of course shares her life through the lens on her YouTube channel. She has faced many challenges in her life along side her ADHD such as depression, anxiety, daddy issues, abuse and so much more. She has used all she has been through as inspiration to keep creating, creating for those who don't have anyone to go to and are facing these challenges alone. She shares her dark times to bring awareness. Letting those who listen know that its okay not to be okay and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, its just going to take a while to get there. Little back story on my life. I grew up very fast at a young age, had to take care of my mother most of my life and my father was never in the picture. Throughout my younger years I was faced with traumas that shape who i am today, which is why i create content around mental health and ADHD, i never had anyone to tell me what was going on with me so i had to figure it out all by myself. I didn’t have the luxury of doctors to help me. I was simply on my own with my mind. How scary, but also so freaking beautiful. Those were some tough years to go through but man on man am i such a wonderful human because of it. I have had my fair share of jobs such as coaching cheerleading, installing stoves and pools, Retail, Fast food, Waitressing, Barista, Nursing Assistant, Assistant manager of a non profit, and no i didn’t get fired from these jobs i quit because my ADHD was bored after learning everything in those positions. A few fun facts about our guest: Never reads the last chapter in a book. Chocolate milk + popcorn always. Sits criss cross apple sauce in chairs. From a small town called Kelso. Left handed -which is a super power too. Enjoy!

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In this episode Peter and Karrisa discuss:

01:26 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:45 - A note about the Boxing command: “duck!!”

02:22 - Intro and welcome Karrisa Cardenas!

04:51 - What made you want to share your stories with the public?

06:20 - On what happened after she first shared

07:00 - Haters gonna hate. How did you press forward?

08:52 - Karrisa, wise beyond her years and dealing with bad words people say

10:20 - On wishing healing

10:48 - How do you come up with your ideas for content?

11:53 - How often to you post? You grew up “social”, but how much of your life do you actually share. How do you set up boundaries?

14:00 - You’ve had all sorts of jobs. How do you make a living, or how did you starting out?

16:00 - On having a back-up plan/safety chute

16:46 - Are you a night owl and why do you have to chase popcorn with chocolate milk?

17:49 - We are kind of unique in that we both are doing this to help others. Where does this come from in you? Why do you do this?

20:04 - How can people find more about you? Web: LinkTree Finding Your Mind Podcast

Socials: @karrisamarieofficial on INSTA Facebook and YouTube

20:27 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to hear. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

20:55 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits

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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:

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Welcome to another episode of Faster Than Normal. My name is Peter Shankman. I am thrilled to be joining you today. I am a little more hyper than normal. I just took, literally just came back from a boxing class over at Victory Boxing, Victory Boxing on 37th Street off of 10th Avenue and holy. Um, it's normally, I, you know, you get one of the coaches one of the day. No, this was the owner who's a pit, or, Hey, let's, let's spar for a bit. Kicked my ass. Into next week. So I am high as a kite on dopamine an adrenaline right now, but oh my God, in three hours, I'm not going to be able to move. He's like, you know, it's funny when you're, when you're, when you're boxing and you're thinking about that next punch, whatever you all you hear are like the punch calls. And he's like, you know, he's like, um, jab cross, left hook, right hook upper cut, left upper cut right. And then he throws duck. And you're staying like an idiot who goes, Oh, is there a duck somewhere? And you could hit in the side of the head. So it has been, it was a fun hour, but oh my God, I'm gonna be hurting in a few. So anyway, with that said, thrilled that you're here and I want you to meet Karrisa Cardenas, so I might be on Instagram. As you know, as a matter of fact, both my mother and my daughter's mother, I'm pretty sure called Child Protective Services on me this morning because I videoed with a 360 Insta Cam I video. I put it on top of my helmet and videotaped or, or, or recorded, uh, the 2.7 mile scooter ride that I take every morning when I take my daughter to school and. You didn't realize how scary that ride is until you look at it on a 360 video and you're like, Wow, that truck nearly killed me. That other truck nearly killed me. Oh, that's 17 trucks. Oh, there's a school bus nearly, and a city bus nearly killed me. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure that that Child Protect service is gonna bust in any minute and, and take my daughter away from you. But either way, it was totally worth it and great video. So I'm on Instagram a lot. I love creating content, and of course I love absorbing content, and Instagram knows this and they treat me, uh, incredibly well because of it. In other words, they, they cater to my wants and my needs because it means I stay on longer like a good little boy, which is exactly what they need for their advertising. Well, that being said, I came across Carissa Cardenas. She's a mental health content creator. Okay? She's a singer songwriter, entrepreneur. Hosted a very own podcast called Finding Your Mind, and she shares her life through the lens, through the lens on her YouTube channel. She's faced a ton of challenges in her life. She has depression, anxiety, and this is her words, Daddy issues, abuse, and so much more. And she's used all of this as an inspiration to keep creating, to create for those who don't have anywhere to go and don't have anyone to talk to and are facing those challenges alone. I love this. She shares her dark times to bring awareness, letting those who listen know that it's okay not to be okay. And even though it might take a long time to get there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, she tells me, I'll talk to you about her backstory. I'll ask her about it and I'll let her speak in a second but she, she has a really interesting backstory, um, that has shaped who she is. And, and I think it's wonderful. And she, she put fun, I love when people do this in her bio, she put a bunch of fun facts. So we're gonna read the, the last five minutes, we're gonna two minutes. We're gonna read those out and have her define those. Karrisa, welcome to Faster Than Normal!

[00:04:24] Karrisa: Hello.

[00:04:26] Peter: I am thrilled that you're here. I love the videos you create. They're so honest, they're so straightforward, and I, I first found you because I'm, I look another ADHD creator and I'm like, Goddammit, another ADHD creator who's getting like 20 times as many likes as me, and this is pissing me the hell off. So obviously we'll talk about how you're, you know, what your, what your system is because you're, you're creating incredible content. But what originally drew you to say, Hey, I'm gonna tell my story in public and, and, and love it or hate it here it is?

[00:04:54] Karrisa: Uh, well, to be honest, uh, in 2015 is kind of where it all started and, uh, I started making video content on Facebook actually. And, uh, I started that because I was very alone growing up. And I faced all these traumas and these issues throughout my life that I just felt so alone and I didn't go to therapy and I didn't know what was wrong with me. Everyone told me that I like, had issues and I was so, you know, angry and all these things. So I just felt very alone and very scared. So I decided one day to pick up the camera and, well, it's actually my phone. It was my, I think it was with my flip phone to be honest, and I started recording on it. And I was like, You know what, I'm just gonna share like a diary. So I sat there and I shared all of my, uh, daddy issues and my anxiety and all that stuff in like different video forms. And this was when I was like, what, 18, 19. So I was like going through it and I, I recorded everything in my vehicle and and I sat there and I was like, you know, I'm gonna do this for other people because I never had help and I never, you know, got anyone. Relate to, and so I just decided one day I was like, I'm, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna scarily share everything that I've been through, even though it might be tmi. I just need someone else to hear it.

[00:06:18] Peter: And it sort of blew up from there.

[00:06:20] Karrisa: Yeah, so it went from that and then of course, you know, doubts and insecurities got into into my bloodstream and it decided to, uh, make me not post for a while. And then I decided, okay, this is really what I wanna do with my life. So I decided to start a podcast instead cuz it was just so much easier than having to edit video and I always have to look nice on video, so I just decided to do it, podcast, and then it started to slowly take off and then it did randomly and I was like, Holy moly, this is it. Uh, I really gotta, I really gotta do this now. You know? So it was really awesome.

[00:06:55] Peter: You know, it's interesting, let talk for a second about you stopped creating content when you started getting like, what haters and things like that.

[00:07:01] Karrisa: Yeah, I, I stopped as people would just tell they were ugly. They were so ugly.

[00:07:07] Peter: Now here's the thing, I mean, that's not, that's never changed. I mean, I, I posted that video this morning of the ride to school, and then I went and into my boxing class and I came out and they're like, About 20 comments and at least four of them were like, Oh, I'm never coming to New York. Fuck New York. There's a, you know, it's full of Democrats. Okay, well, you know, you're obviously meet people like that. And then you get the, Oh wow, you know, we gonna put your kid in the harm's way in the middle of the time, square traffic. I'm like, Okay, I'm much better scooter than you, whatever. But, you know, I, I feel, I feel like I'm 50, right? I, I've had 20 years of giving corporate keynote speeches in front of 20,000 people where I. I'm still kind of, I'm mostly over the haters, but you never truly get over them. You're a lot younger than me. Tell the audience what you did to get past it. Because that the haters and the, and the, and the, the, the, um, trolls, they kill about 95% of the, of the people who wanna create content and they just stop. And they don't wanna do that. And they, they, they leave a lot of stuff, beautiful stuff on the table, never wind up doing.

[00:08:04] Karrisa: Well, uh, yeah. I also was doing YouTube too, so I got all those like, hate comments. You should die. You sh you're ugly. You know, all of those beautiful things at a young age. So, um, I just kind of sat with myself and I really focused on what I wanted to do as a person and who wanted to be, and I had to realize that no one else's fucking opinion, excuse my language really mattered. And I had really had. Hone into myself and really believe in myself and really just not care at all about what anyone else has to say and just hyper focus on that and not even, I didn't look for comments like probably the first two years I got back into it because I was like, I don't need their opinions, whether it be good or not. I never replied to anyone's comments. I just focused on what I wanted to do.

[00:08:52] Peter: Let me ask you a question if you don't mind sharing how old are you?

[00:08:54] Karrisa: I'm 28.

[00:08:56] Peter: That is, I gotta give you such props for that because I remember I started my first company at 27, 26. Mm-hmm. and I sold it, it was a PR firm. I sold it at 29 to a larger agency. And I remember even at 29 thinking like the news went out that it was sold and there were all, you know, Oh, he probably couldn't, he probably just sold it for like, for nothing cuz you know, he couldn't, couldn't keep it up. And his parents probably like, you know, gave him money to start it and it. I remember, I remember like it was yesterday, reading that comment and being like, Wow, I must be nothing. You know? And, and this took years. It took years. I probably, I'm 50 now. Maybe, maybe a couple years ago I really stopped caring as much as I can. But you're still gonna care a little bit. I mean, it's really, I give you a lot of credit for that. It's really impressive. At your age to be able to get past that.

[00:09:42] Karrisa: Yeah. It's, it's a difficult thing though. And I mean, there it is always gonna be here. Like, it's even gonna get worse the bigger you get. Like it's just the way the world works. Yeah. But since I kinda, I grew up in, in social media, to be honest, uh, I started just to see, you know, these empty comments I like to say, because, you know, those people are going through stuff on their own and they're just using, you know, their hate towards you for comfort in a way. And it's just, it's an ugly thing. But I've, I put my. I mean, I put myself in their shoes to make sure like, Hey, listen, you, you know, they're probably suffering from anxiety, traumas, like all of these things. And you know, they're just hating. They shouldn't, but they're just hating. Cause that's all they know.

[00:10:20] Peter: Right. Don't, don't wish anger on them. Wish, wish, wish, healing.

[00:10:24] Karrisa: Yeah. That's, that's just what I do.

[00:10:26] Peter: That's impressive. Again, that's really impressive. I still, I mean, I wish healing on them, but I still go to the boxing gym and beat the show to some bags every you, every day. Of course. Gotta do that.

[00:10:33]Karrisa: Of course.

[00:10:34] Peter: So, let's talk about the kind of content you create when you, when you're posting mental health. I mean, there are a ton of mental health, you know, content creators out there and not, not the majority of them are not getting anywhere near as well as you. Um, So do you listen to your audience? Do you take advice from your audience? Do you, do you, do you listen to their feedback and incorporate that into future posts? How do you come up with your ideas?

[00:10:54] Karissa: Uh, I honestly haven't done that. Like I get a lot of, uh, messages about saying, you know, like all the things that I've posted that have helped them or, you know, opened their eyes or something like that, which is so amazing. But I kind of just focus on what I feel at the time. So I'll be sitting, let's just say I'm at, sitting at my desk and I just have this urge to talk about a specific topic. I'll just do it. At random. Like, I haven't got to the point where I, like, I take feedback yet just because I want to, I want to stay with this momentum that I've got, and usually feedback with my ADHD and everything makes my brain go freaking nuts. Uhhuh. Like, I just, I can't focus. So then I'm like, Oh crap. Did I say the right thing? Did I do the right thing for these people? Or they, you know, So I just hyperfocus on like what I need to say first, and then of course I, I listen to you know, comments later down the road and kind of incorporated into the next content I do create. But I mean, just hyper focus on, you know, how I'm feeling that day, to be honest.

[00:11:53] Peter: How often are you posting, uh, daily? So that brings up another interesting question. You, you said yourself, you're a child of social media. You grew up in this era. Um, you know, know, I, I thank God every day that camera phones and things of that nature didn't exist when I was in high school, I'd probably see somebody in jail and, you know, for you. You're, I guess it is perfectly normal that everything you do mm-hmm. is public. Yeah. Now, but here's a question. It looks like everything of what you do is public to what percent of things that you do are public? Like, you know, I'm sure you still have a private life that you don't necessarily share.

[00:12:27] Karrisa:Yeah. Uh, I would say I only share about 10%.

[00:12:31] Peter: And how do you, do you set up boundaries for yourself so that you don't overshare or that you don't, You know, I, I remember probably 15 years ago writing a multi tweet Twitter rant, and this is before you could like, collect, connect, the tweets was much harder. And it was basically me bitching about something that I, I really didn't need to be bitching about, and I sent it and learned a valuable lesson that night. Right. You don't necessarily need to share every damn thing. Yeah. So how are you, how are you aware of that? What are you doing to make sure that you're, you know, okay, this is something that might be interesting, but I'm not gonna sit here and bitch for the next three hours about whatever.

[00:13:04] Karrisa: Uh, to be honest, I . I wish I had more of a filter. Uh, but I don't, And so the only thing that I really set boundaries towards is talking about politics, to be honest, because, you know, it's just one of those things that I just don't wanna get into on, you know, the internet because I would just get wrecked to be honest. So I just kinda set boundaries with that and I just, Almost everything. I am very open. I'm an open book, and if people hate it, they hate it because there's, there's people out there that are suffering through things that, you know, if they don't have the connection with other people that they can talk to. So it's like, I'm gonna share all the ugly parts and this is more so when I. Was younger. So I'm sharing all of those issues, the abuse and stuff so that it could connect to the right people so that they can live a another day, to be honest. But, um, other than that, the boundaries I set are just political .That's it.

[00:14:02] Peter: Tell me about, so you've had several jobs. Yes. Right. And then I love this coaching, cheerleading, installing stoves and pools, retail, fast food, waitressing, barista, nursing assistant, assistant manager of a nonprofit. And no, and you make it clear, No, I didn't get fired from these jobs. I quit them all because my ADHD was bored after learning everything in those positions. So, yeah. And I get that. I had one job in my life and I'm like, No. But, um, you know, after, after the sort of magic wears off, right? At some point you gotta make a living. Yep. So what then?

[00:14:33] Karrisa: Uh, well, I, I guess I don't really share this, but I will. Um, so I do a lot of content creation, and I do get paid from all of that stuff, but, uh, I, I do have a core job, which is taking care of my mom, so I. Right now I take care of my mom and so I'm a certified nursing assistant. Okay. And that has been the, you know, the bill paying money, the I'm gonna be okay and I can step back and work on all of these things and Gotcha. You know, it, it's, it's a blessing to be honest, cuz not everyone gets to do this. Oh, totally. Or does a lot of people have to take care of their mom at a young age. So, I mean, like, that's kind of, you know, where, where I'm at, like, I don't work, other jobs anymore. I just create and it's so beautiful and I'm so blessed about it.

[00:15:19] Peter: You know, it's interesting. I, um, I, I, I look at my, I I look at a lot of kids who are, who are, you know, influencers, whatever, whatever they wanna call themselves. I hate that term. And, um, you know, they're, they're, they're creating all this kind of thousands and tens and thousand likes and thousand likes. And occasionally they, they, they do a partnership with someone or whatever. And I know the, I know the industry. I know damn well. Yes. They're not making enough for a Starbucks once a day. No. Right. With that. And yet you'll never see that, You know, you'll never, you'll never, uh, hear about the fact that, you know, they're, they're also working, uh, you know, 8:00 PM to 4:00 AM as a security guard or doing whatever just to pay the rent. Yep. Right. It's like the, um, Uh, the real versus Instagram, whether, you know, the, the, the Instagram is like everything is beautiful and then the camera pans over to the other side of the room where it's just like a mess. Yep. Right? And so it, it's interesting because you have a lot of people who are out there trying to create content and I would never tell anyone not to do it and give it a shot, kick ass on it. But I would say have a backup plan. Yeah, I, And it seems, it seems like you managed to pull that off. You do have a backup plan.

[00:16:17] Karrisa: Yes, I always do. I think it's just a security thing for me because, uh, growing up I didn't come from money, so having a backup plan has always been a thing. Like, I've been to college twice. I've been, you know, just thinking, Okay, what am I gonna do if this doesn't pan out? What if I'm, you know, like, but I have to also believe in it a hundred percent, or I'm not gonna give it my all. And I. So it's kind of like that fine line where you're like, Yes, I need to pay my bills, so I will work a nine to five, but I need to bust my ass doing the rest of this.

[00:16:46] Peter: Right. Are you a, um, are you a night owl? Yes. . I noticed that I, I saw the email came in around 2:00 AM so I figured, um,

[00:16:58] Karrisa: Yeah, Sorry about that, heh.

[00:16:58] Peter: Why do you have to eat? And this, this goes to the, your last paragraph. Why do you have to have chocolate milk when you eat popcorn? That's a weird combination?

[00:17:04] Karrisa: Oh, . Well, okay, see, Um, I don't know where it came from. I've always been a, a child of weird combinations and, uh, I just, I can't have popcorn without it because I don't know. I need to wash it down with something sweet and chocolate like so amazing. And when you pair the two, it it hands down the best. No one would try it. No one ever tried it. They're like,

[00:17:26] Peter: I'm gonna try. I'm totally gonna try it tonight actually. I have some of my kids chalk the milk. I'm totally gonna try it.

[00:17:30] Karrisa: There you go. I love that. Lemme know.

[00:17:32] Peter: And by the way, you're lefthanded as am I, as our most amazing people, so

[00:17:36] Karrisa: for real ?That's awesome actually.

[00:17:38] Peter: I love that. I love it. Always drives my boxing coach crazy cuz he always says he, he takes his original position and I go left. God damn it. He has to switch around. Yep. So, so I guess I'll, I'll, I'll close it with this. I wanna be respectful of your time when you, you know, you're creating content and putting stuff out there in a world, especially in social, that isn't always that nice if ever, Right? Mm-hmm. and looking at the stuff that you're talking about, which is mental health, you know, from the beginning, um, tells people that yeah, you've had your share of hits in, in your life. You've taken some hits, you've had some issues, you've had some problems. Yet your goal in all of this, it's still to help people who, who are never able to get help for this on their own. Yeah. And that's really kinda altruistic. Right. Most people are kind of like, No, fuck you, man. I'm gonna get mine. And, and, and you know, I'm gonna get it. I mean, we live in a world right now where, where 15 governors are trying to stop, um, uh, student loan debt cancellation because everyone should pay their own share. I'm like, Well, that's a dick move, right? Yeah. So, so you're sitting here going, No, I wanna help people out. And that's the exact same reason I, I wrote Faster Than Normal and do this podcast, but there aren't a lot of us. So at the end of the day, Your value system is, is pretty unique, right? You're sitting there going, No, I wanna help people. And and does that come from anyone? Did that come from what, what, You know, based on, on the history that you told me about yourself that you shared, um, it doesn't sound like you were helped a lot. So where'd that come from?

[00:19:05] Karrisa: Uh, that's exactly why is because I wasn't helped a lot. I wasn't guided and I wasn't told that what I was going through was normal or you know, cuz my ADHD was, I, I did, I just got diagnosed with it in 2020. So like I didn't have help realizing that, oh my God. Like I went through school and stuff thinking I was so stupid because I learned a different way than other people, but I never knew that, so no one told me. And like I just had to go through the motions of doing things alone. So when I got a little older to understand what I was actually facing. And I started doing research on my own. I was like, there are so many other Me's out there that need help that don't have the finances for it. And I was like, maybe I can just share some of my stories and it could help. And it's just helped me too because it helps me get out of my head and it creates this community of amazing people that need help. And I'm just here and I'm just like, wanna give everybody a hug? And I just want people to be better mentally and understand that it's okay not to be okay.

[00:20:04] Peter: Yeah. I love that. I love that. Very, very cool. Very, very cool. How can people to find you?

[00:20:10] Karrisa: Uh, they can find me on Instagram at Karissa Marie Official. You can find me also on YouTube as Karissa Marie and also my podcast, Finding Your Mind.

[00:20:21] Peter: Very cool. Leave all those in the show notes. Thank you so much for taking the time. I really appreciate it today.

[00:20:25] Karissa: Thank you so much for having me. You're awesome dude.

[00:20:28] Peter: Guys, Faster Than Normal wants to hear what you think. Let us leave us a note, shoot me an email. We've gotten a lot of guests because you guys have written in and said, Hey, talk to this person. So if you have any people, we should talk to peter@shakman.com. You know how to find me. We will see you next week. ADHD as Karissa has blatantly showed us today, is a gift, not a curse. And I will say that until the day I die. Stay tuned, keep in touch. We'll see you guys next week. Stay safe.

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Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood w/ Author Maitland Ward! 0

Oct 5, 2022

Southern California-born and bred Maitland Ward has quickly become one of the biggest stars in adult entertainment, after an-already successful career as an American model, actress and cosplay personality. After finding fame in the ‘90s on CBS soap The Bold and the Beautiful and smash ABC sitcom Boy Meets World, as well as a plum role in 2004’s cult classic White Chicks, Ward decided to shake things up with racy social media content, sexy cosplay and appearing at fan conventions before making the leap into the adult film industry in 2019. The statuesque (5’10”) all-natural redhead is unique in that not only is she beautiful and built for the adult biz, Ward’s talent as an actress means she can also carry dramatic and comedic scenes with ease. Her playful energy, professionalism and open sexuality earned her an exclusive performance contract with Vixen Media Group and the famous face of the brand’s blockbuster studio, Deeper.

In 2020, Ward won three AVN Awards for Best Supporting Actress, Best Three-Way Sex Scene-G/G/B for her work in Deeper feature Drive and Favorite Camming Cosplayer. She also won three XBIZ Awards for Crossover Star of the Year, Best Actress-Feature Movie and Best Sex Scene-Feature Movie, also for Drive. In 2021 she scored two AVN Awards as well: Best Leading Actress for Deeper’s Muse, as well as Best Boy/Girl Sex Scene for Higher Power, plus two XBIZ Awards for Best Acting-Lead and Best Sex Scene-Feature for Muse, and in 2022 she took home two XBIZ trophies for Best Acting-Lead for Muse 2 and Performer of the Year.

Ward’s recent mainstream endeavors include starring and co-producing a TV series, The Big Time, taking on a lead role in psychological thriller Just for You and releasing an eye-popping no-holds-barred memoir about her wild life in the entertainment biz, Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood.

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In this episode Peter and Maitland discuss:

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:00 - Intro and welcome Maitland Ward! IMDB bio

01:38 - So you’re here in NYC promoting Rated X; let’s talk about that!

02:00 - Despite all of your success at such a young age, you were not happy. Why?

04:00 - A lot of positive things have happened in the culture of Hollywood and beyond

04:45 - On hiding who you are, and why. A note on fear.

05:25 - When did you first realize, then decide you needed a change?

06:15 - About getting married an moving to NYC

06:50 - On figuring out that you’re different

07:18 - Peter on how he explained to his father how he was quitting his day job

08:08 - When did you decide to make the switch from ‘mainstream to ‘adult’ film? How did your peers react?

09:15 - About double standards

09:45 - Peter on breaking stereotypes for New Frontier Media at The Wall Street Journal

10:55 - How did it go when you started dipping your feet more into rated R, rated X Art?

12:28 - On building a fanbase in real time

14:00 - About her first full length feature and how that evolved

15:00 - How do you deal with the haters, how do you not focus on the bad reviews, trolls, etc?

15:55 - A tip about fan mail of any sort

16:55 - What’s next for you?

17:35 - My how things have changed in twenty years, or even thirty!

18:52 - What do you do to get out of your head, to clear and re-center?

19:54 - Do you have any rituals or habits that must happen every day or else?

20:21 - How can people find more about you? Web: https://onlyfans.com/maitlandward

Socials: @MaitlandWard on Twitter INSTA FB and @Maitlandtoks on TikTok

Shout out to Brian at BSG Public Relations! @bsgpr on Twitter

20:57 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to hear. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

21:21 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits

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TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:

[00:00:41] Peter: So Maitland, thank you for taking the time. I know you're on a busy schedule with your book tour in New York here.

[00:00:46] Maitland: Yes. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:00:47] Peter: How is New York, uh, treating you so far?

[00:00:49] Maitland: It's, it's been great. It's been a whirlwind, like, meeting with everybody and like, you know, just doing all of the, the. publicity, I guess you would say. It's, it's kind of like a machine. So I, I'm really having good time, but it's been very busy.
I hope to have a little more like downtime to, to little freedom to go explore. More freedom.

[00:01:03] Peter: Yeah. We're, we're a good city. We're coming back. You know, Covid was a bit here, but I did not, I could have least how many people are here now.

[00:01:11] Maitland: Yeah. It's definitely came back. Cause I had come, uh, to film something like a, I guess it was a little over a year ago, and, It was pretty bad. Yeah. Things were shut down.

[00:01:20] Peter: Still in, I'm at the point my daughter's, my daughter's class, like half the kids and their parents like went to their second and third homes and all that. Right now they're all back. I'm like, I'm like you. I kind of feel like you should pay an extra 50% tax on everything because you went down, left your most right.
You left us right. But yeah, we're coming back. It's nice to see the city getting, getting back into form. We're, we're a good place. Um, so you're, you're here promoting burning rated X. Yes. Let's, so let's talk about that. So you have. The majority of people in Delta Entertainment, you have backstory, you have a history.
You came, um, in mainstream media, right? Yes. You started Boy Me World. Yes. And, and of course White. It's one of my favorites because my friend Marlon's in it. That's so cool. And, and you know, you, but you weren't happy.

[00:01:59] Maitland: Yeah, it was an interesting thing because I started acting very young, uh, like 16 years old. I was on a soap opera and, uh, it was, it was a whirlwind experience at the time, but I really felt like I had to be a certain way all the time in Hollywood. Like I had to be a good girl. I had to, you know, be straighten narrow, like really, you know, be nice. That was a big thing. Be nice, and it, I think that was a dangerous thing for a Woman to be taught, like make them like you be nice. So, um, so I was, but I felt like I was always denying certain parts of myself to. You know, accommodate other people and, and Hollywood, you know, I got very lucky early on that I got a lot of jobs and, and high profile jobs. Uh, especially like when I got Boy Meets World and I was, I really wanted to like please everybody at Disney and the producers and everything. And I, um, but it was weird because on the show I was this sort of, not a sex object, but she was very, The U undertones were sexual, I guess. Right. And she was always the one dancing around in lingerie.

[00:03:08] Peter: And like you spoke about that, teasing the boys,you mentioned that in the, both the concept and your articles, the concept that, you know, Yeah. Here's Disney. Right. You know, pure, pure bread, Disney. Yeah. Um, the, the, the likes of which we all all know who comes from Disney. Everyone. Everyone. Wonderful and happy. And then, Yet they were putting you in situations that today, I think if we looked at them under the eye of 2022, right. We

[00:03:24] Maitland: question. Oh, absolutely. Like, like I say in the book, how I had to go up to the producer's office to try on lingerie for my lingerie scenes. So, and like not just once. I mean, there was 20 people in there, whatever, a big group. Mostly men. Uh, pretty much all men except for maybe one or, um, and then I would have to try on all of it and like, and I thought that this was my job to do this, and I never, at the time, I didn't even 0cConceptualize that it was a weird thing or it was ski or it was anything wrong with it. But then today you look at that, if that happened today and it went on the internet or anything, people would be fired for it Yeah.

[00:04:00] Peter: . Yeah. And I think that, you know, in a lot of ways, everyone, everyone complains about cancel culture and complains that, that were too high strung.
But a lot of things, positive changes have, have resulted from not only people like you speaking out, but you know, all the way back to the Weinstein and, and things like that. Yeah. But at, at the time that you were doing it again, you were under. Let's just be a good girl. Let's just do the nice thing. Yeah. I didn't wanna, like, was it, was there a fear there that if you, if you acted the way you wanted to or if you acted the way you were, the way you thought you were supposed to, you'd be gone?

[00:04:29] Maitland: Yes, definitely. Oh yeah, always. I had very much anxiety about that kind of stuff, like very much anxiety that I wouldn't do the right thing, I wouldn't be the right way, or I wasn't good enough for the situation and I. You know imposter syndrome. Yeah. May, Yeah, maybe. Yeah. . Yeah, I guess. But it was like, yeah, cuz I had to like kind of be this persona that I can't see all the time. I was not who I was like there, but in certain parts of myself, especially my sexuality and everything. And I had to hide like, Things that, you know, how I wanted to be exact cause I thought it was wrong or bad, or, you know, weird or, or they would judge me and come down on me.

[00:05:07] Peter: Fear is a great motivator. Not necessarily in a good way, but fear is a, you know, I don't wanna lose my job, I'm gonna conform despite what it's doing to your mental health. Yeah. Right, right. So as you moved on and as you had different roles and, and at, at some. Was there a, I guess was there a moment where you just said, F this?

[00:05:28] Maitland: I mean, was it, was it, did it come all at once or how did it, And it's interesting. Back at the time, I didn't think that it was having an effect on me in my mental health. Like I didn't conceptualize that. I thought it was just like there's something wrong with me that I. Wasn't doing things the right way, but, and looking back, writing the book, I really saw that in certain situations. Yeah. Um, so yeah, it was a long time, a long journey like finding myself, and it's interesting because of all, you know, pitfalls and disappointments that I had after I had a lot of success, like after white chicks and all that, when I was really typecast and things dried up and Hollywood would, they still wanted to keep me in the box that they had put me as a, like this good girl character, this, but they didn't wanna cast me cuz I was already a typecast character. Right. So, but they still wanted me there for like, whenever they needed a certain purpose for me, like a little episodic work or something like that. Um, so that became frustrating. So then I, I actually, that's when I moved to New York for a while. I got married and moved to New York. Okay. And it was kind of like a, it was a breath of fresh air to kind of get away from the Hollywood machine. I've heard that. Yeah. Because it was like, cuz when you're there you're just so caught up. Like, Oh, what, Who's going to this party? Right? What's this audition? Did you get that one? Like, did you book this one? And, uh, so, so getting away, I really like started to really discover myself and I started writing a lot and erotic writing. And I started really discovering my sexuality and stuff of, I guess not discovering it all the way Admitting it Okay. Is more of a thing because I think I knew all along that I, I, I just thought I was different and I thought I, like I say, I, I was a bad girl maybe inside , but, but I realized, you know, I'm not bad. It's kind of funny. My husband helped me realize that really. and he was very encouraging of me to explore this path that I really wanted to explore.

[00:07:17] Peter: I imagine so. I mean, I remember, and I, I guess I can't really equate much to it, but I've always imagined the, the day that I told my parents, I, I, I had one job in my life. I worked for, for America Online back in the nineties when, when a was the internet, right? Yeah. And I came back to New York and realized, They let us work anyway we wanted, which is why I did so well. My ADHD flourished cuz I was able to do, Oh, you wanna work at two in the morning? Great. As long as you get it done.
Yeah. Yeah. Then I come back to New York and start working for a magazine and, and we have 8:00 AM meetings and 9:30 AM meetings and 10:00 AM editorial boards. And I'm like, What? This is Russia? And it, I, I quit within two. Yeah. And I remember telling my Dad, um, I'm gonna start my own PR firm and if it fails, and I actually said when it fails, when it fails, oh I'll get another. Cause I was so, who the hell am I to do anything, you know, entrepreneurial. And that was like 24 years ago. And I remember that was the scariest conversation I ever had have because I said, You know, I might need you to help pay my rent for a month or I might need what I didn't thank God, but you know, I got lucky and, and things were in. But tell us about the mindset when you decided you're gonna make this switch. You're gonna go from mainstream to adult, which to be, let's be fair, adult is kind of at this point, 2022, putting mainstream. Anyway,

[00:08:20] Maitland: that's why it's so weird to say both things and I know we have to differentiate kind of, but, But it is weird that we have to differentiate.

[00:08:25] Peter: Right? So tell me about, Because you, you wrote a really interesting piece that I really enjoyed about your interaction with Elizabeth Berkeley. Oh, yes, I was Right. So tell us about that.

[00:08:33] Maitland: First, It was a very quick interaction. Yeah, but it was an interesting one. I, it was right after like the news broke that I was, Doing this big porn film and stuff. And I was in the industry and everything and I was, you know, walking out of the Whole Foods. And I saw her off to the side and she looks at me like, you know, our white eyes and they got wider. And I was like, and she had, I, I don't know, I think it was her husband at the time. I don't know if there's still, I don't know the situation.
It was a man with her. Right. Um, and she, she just looks at and she turns to him and like whispers something like this and he looks, and it was such a weird like, situation to have them be like, Look at me like some sort of a, you know, beast down in the wild.

[00:09:11] Peter: I'm sorry. And let's just, let's just be clear, this is Nomi Malone looking at you , right? This is the girl who, who went from Saved by the Bell, then Showgirls. So I'm, I'm not sure what she's actually looking at, where she comes off looking at you, everybody. So that really kinda pissed me off when I read that. The hell is she looking at you?

[00:09:25] Maitland: But it's a weird thing because once you go- when it's deemed adult, Right. It's different, right? Like in Hollywood films like now on like streaming shows and stuff, they go so close to it, of course.

[00:09:39] Peter: But, but they didn't go all the way. In 2003, um, I, I represented a company called New Frontier Media and, uh, New out of Denver, Ca, Boulder, Colorado, and New Frontier was the, this back in for porn was free, right?
Yeah. Right. And, and, and they were the largest distributor of adult paperview on cable. Mm-hmm. . And I would go, I had my, I worked for them for four years and I took their stock price from like 99 to $10 because I forced my way into the Wall Street Journal and Forbes and Fortune. Mm-hmm. explaining, you know, I have a company who I'm repping, who is kicking the ass, their biggest competitor with Playboy.
Yeah. By a factor of 10 x. Like, Oh, we great. They're adult. Oh, we can't touch that. I'm like, Why the hell not, not? It's so explaining when, and I got through and, and I remember getting New Frontier Media on the cover of Forbes was like, like the highlight. If that's my epi half right now. Yeah. The first porn company on Forbes. But, you know, but it was, it was the concept of, look, you, you, you're, it's one of those things that you're. Um, secretly. Yeah. Right. You're not gonna admit to it, but meanwhile, look at how much money is being driven. Yes. You know, let's, let's, let's look at something like Euphoria. Um, great show, but not really about the acting per se. Yeah. You know, there's, there's things we're looking at on that show that we know exactly what we're looking. Go onto Reddit. You're not gonna find, uh, uh, um, uh, reviews of the acting. You're gonna find one thing on your, you know, about your for. And so, so that being said though, it's a lot easier to say that then is to sort of tell us about, like, tell us about the day or whatever.

[00:10:56] Maitland: It was, the moment where, All right, I'm doing this and, and here we go. You know what, it wasn't like one certain moment. I mean it uh, it was cuz I started like exploring stuff on my social media sexy pictures and stuff. And this was along the time, by the time Girl Meet's World has spin enough appointments coming around, right? So there was a lot of attention and social media was really starting to really boom, like Instagram, especially in like Snapchat. And uh, so I started getting followers for like doing my sexy cosplay that I loved doing and doing bikini shots and all that stuff. Uh, but then I'd eventually. They started like taking down photos.
Right. Actually, cuz a lot of people would complain for no reason to like these like fundamentalist types that watch, of course that are obsessed with like boy meets world being wholesome and wholesome and good and stuff. And uh, actually a lot of porn girls though suffer from people just,

[00:11:46] Peter: Oh, of course for that question.

[00:11:49] Maitland: Just taking their, I mean, look at the Visa MasterCard scenario. They had match ridiculous. Um, so I kind of, my, my fans were like, Well, why don't you just sell content? And I didn't know what content was really at the time. I mean, I kind of heard of it, so I, but I said, Well, maybe, And I said, I'll start, I'll start a Patreon account, right? It's, you know, they patrons of your art. And I was gonna do like Playboy-esque type photos. I, I started the page and I, I didn't even like, Um, announced it. I just like did it one night and I said, ah, close it. Then the next morning there was like 20 people in there and then so I announced it and by the end of the week there was like 2,800 people. I was like, What? They're gonna buy my nudes, a create content.

[00:12:23] Peter: Holy shit!

[00:12:24] Maitland: I know. And it was just like, then it kind of evolved from there. Cause I, I had been exploring like my sexuality and my writing and everything like that, so I was like, Oh, maybe I'll do. Girl, girl stuff then, and let's do this. And my fans responded and it was kinda like they were watch, they really were watching my journey along the way. Yeah. Like in real time. Um, and so then I, then I was like, What? You know, my husband and I had a big moment about when we said we're gonna have me do something with guys. So I, but I was so lucky. I found two guys in the porn industry who've been there so long, they were so professional. And they really like taught me along the way, like how would to do, this was a year and like almost a year and a half period before I got like a call from Vixon to do. Right. The black scene that went crazy viral. I might, might have been of, been , but it, but then I didn't even announce that to the press. It was all kind of just a internet moment.

[00:13:21] Peter: Oh, well by that moment you'd built, you'd built the audience.

[00:13:22] Maitland: Yes, but when I did. That's why everybody thinks I made this announcement. I just was saying I'm going to porn right now when I did the film drive for deeper.com. Mm-hmm. , which is Vic, one of Vic's brands. Um, but it was because I, the black team just blew up that, on that same day, Caden Cross, who, who is amazing performer and director in, in her own right, but she had started the brand deeper, right?
Not very long before she had just, they just acquired the brand like four months or launched four months before, but she was doing her first feature. For it and, um, she lost her co-star on. The day my black scene came out. Oh wow. So, but she thought she'd have to quit the movie cuz you know, there's not a lot of people who can handle a lot of dialogue fast. And so, um, she went to Vixen and said, I think we're done with, we're not able to do it this year. And then they said, talk to Maitland. She just blew up and she can act. And then, so that really was, we did that and I decided, you know what, I'm really proud of this. I'm proud of the trailer, I'm proud of the whole thing of the feature, cuz full length features complete, you know, dialogue story. It was, um, so I did announce it to the press. That's went insane. And that's when everybody thought, Oh, she just made the switch all of of a sudden. It's always a backstory. Yeah. It's kind of like when people say, Oh my God, like they have a starring rule in something suddenly and they're like, You just showed up my imdb, but it's

[00:14:44] Peter: 30 years.

[00:14:45] Maitland: I know I've been here forever.

[00:14:47] Peter: The everyone's like, You last company, you started this, sold it three years. It was 17 years of crap.

[00:14:51] Maitland: Yeah, no, that's what I mean.

[00:14:53] Peter: There's so much prep involved and so much time. Let me ask you this. One of the things that we touched on, and this is what I think my listeners can really relate to mm-hmm. um, being as out there as you. Right. Whether, whether it's it's on, uh, in Hollywood or, or in adult, there is a, how do you edit that out? How do you deal with the haters? How do you deal with the bad reviews? A lot of, when you're ADHD or ADHD or any sort of neurodiverse, yeah, be imposter syndrome is huge, but also, The premise that, I mean, I'll give a keynote to 10,000 people. Mm-hmm. , right? 9,999 of them will love it. There's one guy who didn't stand up for the standing ovation. That's all that I'm gonna think about for the next two weeks.

[00:15:27] Maitland: I know. You know, what do you do? I used to be a lot more like that. Um, like I would get very, like, especially when I started doing sexier photos, like on Instagram stuff, I'd get those, like fundamentalist haters and stuff. I got very perked by it. I guess , that's the word. Um, but now I kind of. I don't embrace it. There's always like one or two trolls that just wants to attack you. Right? But I was actually told something early on when I was on the soap opera that the fan mail that we get, and I remembered this, like I really came to play with the trolls. No matter if it's good or bad, you're making an impact. If they didn't care, they wouldn't even be there. So it's, if you're not getting any attention or any feedback from people, that's cuz think about to be a troll, you have to be pretty investing.

[00:16:14] Peter: Exactly.

[00:16:15] Maitland: You watch people getting fired up about something, you're, you're making this connection.

[00:16:18] Peter: Sounds like all the people who, who, when Nike came out to support Gay Rights, uh, everyone burned their Nike clothing. Okay. So yeah, just spend the a hundred bucks on sneakers and burn. Okay, cool. Cause you know, it's not like Maggie didn't make any money from that. That's true. That's true. But no, I, I, I've always said, if, if you don't have haters, you're not doing enough to change the status quo.

[00:16:33] Maitland: That's, that's exactly good. That's, that's a perfect statement really.

[00:16:37] Peter: So you just sort of put it outta your head. You're like, They're there, but

[00:16:40] Maitland: I try to, it means that I'm doing something. I mean, you know what always is kind of like, of course sounds the back. It's, Yeah, I don't like it, but, you know, but I try to, Yeah. Put it out my. And I do have some wonderful fans who will attack them, like nice backers. I don't even do all the work.

[00:16:52] Peter: There you go. Yeah. So

[00:16:54] Maitland: what's. You know what? I don't know. And, you know, well I really would like to sell the book rights and stuff cuz I, I think there's really potential there and we're working on that. And it's funny because ever since I have been in the Adult industry, I've actually had more opportunities, like people in mainstream coming to me and stuff. Like I shot a sitcom pilot last year. I'm like, yeah. So, uh,

[00:17:15] Peter: It's, it's, well, I think it's good timing for you also. I think that those barriers have definitely back from when I was repping in 2003, like it's definitely changed.

[00:17:21] Maitland: It's so changed and I really think it's because people have grown up with it on the internet. Yeah. Not grown up, but you know, when they get in there maybe.

[00:17:28] Peter: So, yeah, I remember. No, I, Believe me, I remember there was a bodega, um, on the corner where, where near, I grew up in the corner, I think it was 91st and Amsterdam with an owner who did not care what you bought or what you looked at, whether it was- that's funny- Beer or nudie mags. And I, you know, like the majority of kids in my, in my grade, like 86 to 90 in high school, 85 or whatever. I think we pretty much all found it through that mess, through that pod.

[00:17:50] Maitland: That's true. Yes. I know. I think kids today, they go online.

[00:17:53] Peter: You don't have no idea how hard it was.

[00:17:55] Maitland: They just go online and that's so funny. But seriously, people in their twenties and thirties now, they're like, They're so open to it. And especially women. I am so surprised by the women that come up to me and they're like, This is so cool. I'm so glad you're doing this and making this change. And I, I think they feel like they can talk to me cuz I'm, I'm in, I was in their living rooms. Yeah. And I feel a little like a bridge or something between like, they can ask me questions. And people can feel a little safer talking to me about things they're curious about in the adult industry and stuff. But they all, Everybody watches it ?

[00:18:26] Peter: No. No question about it. But they, Yeah, I could tell you, I mean, I remember when I was wrapping the company had access to all their data and I could tell you what states and what cities and what towns in those states. Yeah. Um, spent the most money. Oh really? Uh, it was, yes. You know, little spoiler. It was always a red state. Yeah. Always. A And it was like the hardest portion of course. And then the hardest core stuff. Another the one- oh, this is terrible! Right. Then they go right home. They spend a hundred bucks. Exactly. Um, that's, So tell us what you do Last, last couple questions to keep this brief. Tell us what you do to get out of your head. So do you exercise? Do you, what is your thing when you, when you're like, Oh my God, I gotta, I'm, I'm, I'm gone. See an hour, see in two hours. See you here. What do you..

[00:19:03] Maitland: I actually trained to be a yoga teacher. Oh wow. I'd never taught, but I did it for myself. And that was actually after I came back from New York and I was really, that helped me discover a lot for myself too, to really like, get like out my head and really like, you know, meditate, I guess, and like do the practice. So I do do that. I really like to do that. I like to play with my dogs and stuff; most, the most innocent fun. I think that they just don't care. They just, they like, no matter what is going on in the world, they're just happy to be with you. And I think that's, Yeah. So I think I do, I like to do that, but um, and I like to, I like to read a lot and I like to, um, you know, I listen to music and watch them try to like, and not distract myself, but like, just to calm and relax. Yeah. Because yeah, sometimes I get stressed out with everything going on and stuff, so I really need to like, Just mellow down.

[00:19:53] Peter: Do you have any rituals or, um, habits that absolutely must happen every single day?

[00:19:59] Maitland: No, I don't think so. Not every single day. I mean, does coffee count ?

[00:20:04] Peter: Yeah, coffee counts.

[00:20:05] Maitland: Okay. Coffee's right up there with exercise. Sure. Why not? Yeah. And like exercise. Yes and no. I don't always get to do that, but I, but I do. But, um, yeah, I think coffee, coffee's my ritual. .

[00:20:17] Peter: I think coffee is a perfect way to end anything. So, So definitely this interview, Maitland Ward. Thank you so much. Um, tell us how people can find you?

Web: https://onlyfans.com/maitlandward

Socials: @MaitlandWard on Twitter INSTA FB and @Maitlandtoks on TikTok

[00:20:23] Maitland: Oh, on all of the social media is Maitland Ward, except I do have a TikTok now which I just started,

[00:20:29] Peter: listen, it’s, I’m like the only person that, that Asia's not following their, you know, stealing their, oh my gosh, stealing their files.

[00:20:34] Maitland: I, I'm so good at it yet, but we're It's MaitlandTok, because somebody had my name,

[00:20:40] Peter: Ah, someone took your name, you. You can probably fight and get that back if you want.

[00:20:41] Maitland: Yeah, I actually am working on that, but Awesome. Um, but yeah, it's funny. So yeah. But everywhere else is my name.

[00:20:52] Peter: Folks, the book is called. “Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood”. This is a wonderful, wonderful interview.
Thank you so much, Maitland Ward for taking the time!

Guys, as always, thanks for listening. We appreciate you being here. This one went a little longer. Normally we cap at 20 minutes because you know, #ADHD but we went a few minutes longer and I think that's awesome. And wanna give big shout out to Maitland Ward and to, Brian Scott Gross putting us together. Brian runs the amazing PR firm, uh, BSG Public Relations He's pretty awesome. He lives out in California. A really short guy though, but really nice guy, . And anyway, , thrilled that you took the time, and really, really grateful guys. We'll see you again next week. Thank you for listening. Talk to you soon.

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